empathicfault | IC Inbox

There was this whole... thing I went through at home. It left a lot of my brain kinda screwy.

[Truthfully, false memories and missing time aren't nearly as big an issue as she worries they might be - but the concern is still there regardless.]

Oh, the...simulations. Damn. Right.

[ Will takes a break to rub his face and sigh, deeply. ]

All right. What can we do? I'd like to know what I've got, so I can have an idea of how different I might be now.

[ Not that it might matter. They might not be able to do anything about it. ]

You think it'll all go back, after the Flood? Don't know if I can just...wait it out. [ But maybe it's an option. ]

You try going through your life, from beginning to end? It's not exactly an efficient method, and you could still miss stuff, but that should help you catch the big things.

Yeah. [ Small sigh. ] It's the big things I'm more worried about. Things that could change who I am. I have enough issues getting 'pieces' of other people, already, I don't need to be...diluted.

But I'll probably work backwards. Maybe...sections of two or three years.

We could try going by topic, too. You remember the encephalitis. You remember Hannibal; you remember that he was using the encephalitis as an excuse to mess with you. What else do you remember about Hannibal messing with you? Is there anything that feels only half-remembered or out of place, like there's a piece missing to the story?

Okay, well-

[ He laughs, and it sounds just a little manic. ]

Hannibal's entire wheelhouse is 'messing with people,' me especially. The only times he wasn't, I was messing with him. I still know that much, at least. But let me think. There was a lot of back and forth...

[ He plays through significant times for them both. He's watching for leaps in emotions, instead of the watercolor-type smear from one to another he's used to. Usually, that's indicative of him glomming onto someone else's feelings, but now there's more to look for. He's quiet for a full minute, and then there's a sharp intake of breath. ]

Oh. Well. That's awkward.

You find something missing?

[ He considers lying, but there's not much point. It's not like anyone's working with a full deck here. He doesn't know what might be important. ]

Yeah, I- [ He breathes out. ] We were working a case. Maulings. One of Hannibal's patients looked like a good fit for it, but- he got through an interview just fine. Once I got home, one of the dogs was crying outside- Buster. I thought there was maybe a coyote, but--

And then I'm setting Hannibal's dead patient on his dining room table. My knuckles are bloody. That was Randall Tier, I think.

How far away is his house from yours?

[It might seem like a meaningless bit of information, but she's trying to narrow down timeframes here, and whether one of the things he's missing is the duration of a five-minute drive versus a two-hour drive makes a big difference.]

[ It's not the question he expects, but he can tell what she's getting at. ]

That's an hour's drive. At least. It was late, so probably not much traffic. But it would've taken me some time to move the body. So probably about an hour and a half, total?

Do you remember if your knuckles hurt? Were they split open?

Oh, yeah. They were a mess. Hannibal bandaged them up for me. I was- I'd been trying to get him to trust me. He's so careful, it was the only way to catch him. So I just...told him we were even. No hard feelings about the attempted murder-by-proxy.

[ He's mildly uncomfortable, saying it. But he's not sure why- he clearly went forward with that plan. ]

Think that's why you brought the perp's body to him?

I'm guessing so, yeah.

-plus, he'd want to cook him.

Would he have been suspicious if you hadn't brought him the body?

Suspicious of what? I mean, I'm pretty sure I killed that guy. Nothing to obfuscate, there. It's what he wanted.

[ He sighs. He's starting to get annoyed. He knows this is an outside effect. But why couldn't he just remember what happened, now that he knows? ]

He might've been disappointed, if I reported it to the police. Called it self-defense, whether it had been or not. So maybe that's what I wanted to avoid.

Suspicious of your intentions, I mean. If you were trying to gain his trust.

[... But.]

Right now, if he were here. Would you worry about disappointing him?

[ Will laughs. It's not even bitter, just amused. ]

I have never- [ Wait, let's amend that. ] I don't remember ever being worried about that.

This time...the only reason to avoid disappointing him would be to foster more of his trust. And yeah, maybe he would've wondered about my intentions if I didn't go all out? It wasn't like we'd get another chance.

So maybe I made the decision on my own, to take the body over there- I probably would've kept Jack informed, at least. He was the only other one in on the plan to catch Hannibal.

Whose idea was it, yours or Jack's? You remember that?

Mine. But I imagine Jack would've floated the idea my way eventually, once he finally believed what I'd been telling him.

Edited 2023-04-21 03:16 (UTC)

It just kinda seems... weird, for the FBI. Don't those guys usually work on bigger teams than one consultant and one-- whatever Jack is?

[ He chuckles. ]

Oh, this wasn't official. We'd tried some official channels- I'd tried all of them, and Hannibal was untouchable. This was very illegal. And personal, for both of us.

Jack was the head of the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI, by the way. A little embarrassing to have one of the most prolific modern serial killers working under you there.

Edited 2023-04-21 17:20 (UTC)

Sure, but he works you to the bone. You're just a weapon to him. And people like me, we can be weapons; it doesn't get to us. But people like you--

[She cuts herself off, frustrated. Frustrated, and not at all realizing that she's talking about things that Will himself has never actually told her.]

People like me break. And we'll never be the same again.

...how do you know what he's like, but you didn't know his position at the BAU?

[ Will can guess, but he's not sure how entrenched whatever memory she has of Jack is going to be. ]

I don't know, I--

[Remember.]

Did you tell me?

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audio; I forgot he already told her about the cannibalism, rip

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