[ His mouth pulls back into a line, almost an apologetic smile. He knows that this is annoying, but it's what he's got.
He decides to swerve a bit for something most people find more straight-forward. Not any less honest but focused more specifically on him. ]
Me, it was all my condition. All doctors and what I can handle and what I couldn't. It ruined my father's life, it ruined my life. I struggled under it, until I finally found something I could do for work. Then I only had that for a couple of years until someone-- Jack- found a way to exploit it. And then it ruined me all over again. And took a bunch of people with it, this time.
But in that ruination, I found a way to struggle free. It doesn't have to be something that only hurts, me and others. I can tame it, I can aim it. It's mine.
So now- I can do what I want. I finally have some agency in my life...now that I'm dead.
[I'm trying just gets a small nod, and plenty of time to get his words out. She knows patience isn't exactly one of her strong suits, but, well. She can try, too.]
It sucks that it had to come to that. You got any idea what you want to do, now that you're out from under Jack and Hannibal's thumbs?
[There's the soft sound of a chair scraping back on hard flooring, and footsteps as she gets up to pace.]
This is a crappy place to make a life long-term, Will. Use it for what it's good for, then figure something else out. You can help people at home, too.
I'd give you a job. I ever tell you about the kind of work I do?
[She knows she hasn't. She also knows that he could possibly have picked up on a few things.]
I can appreciate a rogue group. How do you stop violent crimes before they happen, though? That's...you can't be sure they'll go through with something. Right?
Mm, we keep an eye on things and do pretty extensive recon. We're not... preemptively taking people out or imprisoning them based on hunches or thought crimes, if that's what you're worried about. Boss'd throw a fit.
Glad to hear it. Better than the things Jack would start yelling about, anyway.
[ He sort of distractedly pets Winston as he thinks, imagines what it would be like to be in that sort of situation. A separate group, on their own, doing what they think is right. ]
I'm guessing I don't have to go into how badly I usually work with a team.
However bad you are, there's no way you're worse than Root.
[She sits down finally, cross-legged on the floor instead of taking a chair (... or dog bed) .]
When I got back from that whole captivity thing, they needed back-up; we couldn't really afford for me to take time off. They all made me sit out a week anyway, to make sure I rested and recovered or whatever. That whole thing with Jack? Wouldn't've happened to you with us, or any solid team.
[OOC: just noticed that five-ish tags up I forgot this was action now and switched back to audio formatting; I am so sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me this week!]
[ Winston can't help it- someone is on the floor. And Will seems- well, more normal-ish, as much as he ever is. So Winston trots over to request some pets from Shaw.
Will, meanwhile, nods appreciatively at Shaw's description of an enforced recuperation from work. She's not the type to lie, but it still feels weird to him, the idea that even a bunch of rogues would take care of each other better. Having faith that someone would at least try to back you up when you needed help-- wait, he had that once before, didn't he?
He narrows his eyes and then sighs, as he realizes it's not his memory. It's brief, though. He rubs his eyes and then looks to Shaw. ]
Uh- think I just remembered something of yours. Did your group work with something called The Machine?
[Shaw doesn't know if she'll ever stop feeling a sharp, sudden burst of suspicion when people on the Barge ask questions like this. Honestly, she hopes she never does stop. When it comes to graduating an inmate and working towards a deal, it's best to assume that the Barge is real and act accordingly - but when it comes to talking about home, and to sharing information that Decima and Sameritan would be all too happy to get their hands on, she can't lose sight of the fact that this could all be an elaborate ploy to get her to let her guard down and give away more than she should.]
Yeah.
[She says guardedly, rubbing a hand over Winston's back and letting him flop down in her lap.]
[ He can feel the suspicion spike, bursting in his ears briefly like radio static. But that makes sense, and he's certainly not going to take offense at it. He'll talk to her about it, see how long it takes for her to get the rest. Because he knows how off-putting this is, and it sounds like sensitive information.
Although, as he starts, he laughs a little. ]
I think it's Root. Did she tase you and drug you and zip-tie you to a steering wheel? [ That might not be helpful, if Shaw doesn't have it, so he continues on. ] Uh, wavy brown hair, brown eyes, black leather jacket, about my height probably...pretty flippant about kidnapping.
[ He raises an eyebrow at Shaw. Does that sound right? ]
[Whoopsie-daisy, is she about to be called out for thinking Hannibal is clearly bad news while she has Root lurking in her history? The fact that she doesn't look remotely surprised upon hearing this story is probably telling, but she at least has the grace to look mildly sheepish about it.]
Yeah, she, uh-- she got better about that. Mostly.
[But not until well after Shaw started sleeping with her, so really, feel free to judge away, Will.]
[ The slight amusement is as far as Will intends to judge, promise. Because while Root might enjoy a little kidnapping and tasering, Will is pretty sure she's not an unrepentant cannibal. (although hey, who knows?) ]
No, it was definitely a steering wheel. I think Root just wanted you to listen for a bit. She kept calling the Machine 'she', and said that it needed her help. That the first part of that was getting your help.
You were, understandably, pretty mad about the whole thing. Apparently, the Machine talking to Root was unusual? You didn't expect it.
To be fair to us, the drugging and kidnapping and tasering habit wasn't a one-time thing.
[The locking up is something that Shaw doesn't particularly regret, though she feels more conflicted about the involuntary commitment to a mental hospital than about the extra-judicial imprisonment at their home base. Purposefully keeping her in places where she was cut off from the Machine, though, is something she wishes they'd done differently.]
I decided to go with her, didn't I. She convinced me.
[ Will just nods in acknowledgement at the reasoning. He knows it's something he's particularly sensitive about, but he doesn't know all the details. He's not going to judge. ]
You did. She said something about your father. Gave you a date. Pissed you off, but I think it convinced you that The Machine trusted her. And that she wasn't lying about trying to save people. Or- no. Save The Machine, but that would save people.
[Shaw murmurs, closing her eyes as the memory starts to leak its way back into her.]
Yeah, that was a couple years ago. We went on a quest to save this guy who ended up joining her nerd squad and being pretty useful to us later on, so. Things turned out okay.
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[That eyebrow is only arching higher.]
You finding your way to a point?
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[ His mouth pulls back into a line, almost an apologetic smile. He knows that this is annoying, but it's what he's got.
He decides to swerve a bit for something most people find more straight-forward. Not any less honest but focused more specifically on him. ]
Me, it was all my condition. All doctors and what I can handle and what I couldn't. It ruined my father's life, it ruined my life. I struggled under it, until I finally found something I could do for work. Then I only had that for a couple of years until someone-- Jack- found a way to exploit it. And then it ruined me all over again. And took a bunch of people with it, this time.
But in that ruination, I found a way to struggle free. It doesn't have to be something that only hurts, me and others. I can tame it, I can aim it. It's mine.
So now- I can do what I want. I finally have some agency in my life...now that I'm dead.
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It sucks that it had to come to that. You got any idea what you want to do, now that you're out from under Jack and Hannibal's thumbs?
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I'm working on that. I'd been focused on Abigail, but that's done, now. Something that utilizes my...ability, the way I want. Probably.
[ More quietly: ] I have a lot to re-evaluate. It would probably help if my mind didn't feel like gumbo.
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You think you're gonna have any use for a magic deal after you graduate, Will?
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Uh...well. I don't think bringing Hannibal back is gonna be on the table, so- not really?
But it's not like everyone is here for a deal. Maybe.
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This is a crappy place to make a life long-term, Will. Use it for what it's good for, then figure something else out. You can help people at home, too.
I'd give you a job. I ever tell you about the kind of work I do?
[She knows she hasn't. She also knows that he could possibly have picked up on a few things.]
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You haven't, but- federal. Not FBI, though. Black ops? CIA?
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We save people by trying to stop violent crimes while they're still in the planning stages.
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Glad to hear it. Better than the things Jack would start yelling about, anyway.
[ He sort of distractedly pets Winston as he thinks, imagines what it would be like to be in that sort of situation. A separate group, on their own, doing what they think is right. ]
I'm guessing I don't have to go into how badly I usually work with a team.
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[She sits down finally, cross-legged on the floor instead of taking a chair (... or dog bed) .]
When I got back from that whole captivity thing, they needed back-up; we couldn't really afford for me to take time off. They all made me sit out a week anyway, to make sure I rested and recovered or whatever. That whole thing with Jack? Wouldn't've happened to you with us, or any solid team.
[OOC: just noticed that five-ish tags up I forgot this was action now and switched back to audio formatting; I am so sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me this week!]
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Will, meanwhile, nods appreciatively at Shaw's description of an enforced recuperation from work. She's not the type to lie, but it still feels weird to him, the idea that even a bunch of rogues would take care of each other better. Having faith that someone would at least try to back you up when you needed help-- wait, he had that once before, didn't he?
He narrows his eyes and then sighs, as he realizes it's not his memory. It's brief, though. He rubs his eyes and then looks to Shaw. ]
Uh- think I just remembered something of yours. Did your group work with something called The Machine?
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Yeah.
[She says guardedly, rubbing a hand over Winston's back and letting him flop down in her lap.]
What do you remember?
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Although, as he starts, he laughs a little. ]
I think it's Root. Did she tase you and drug you and zip-tie you to a steering wheel? [ That might not be helpful, if Shaw doesn't have it, so he continues on. ] Uh, wavy brown hair, brown eyes, black leather jacket, about my height probably...pretty flippant about kidnapping.
[ He raises an eyebrow at Shaw. Does that sound right? ]
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Yeah, she, uh-- she got better about that. Mostly.
[But not until well after Shaw started sleeping with her, so really, feel free to judge away, Will.]
She zip-tied me to a steering wheel? Not a chair?
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No, it was definitely a steering wheel. I think Root just wanted you to listen for a bit. She kept calling the Machine 'she', and said that it needed her help. That the first part of that was getting your help.
You were, understandably, pretty mad about the whole thing. Apparently, the Machine talking to Root was unusual? You didn't expect it.
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[Shaw murmurs, half to herself.]
She say anything about us keeping her locked up?
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[ And he was going to continue on, but as he processes that, he has to raise an eyebrow. ]
You kept her locked up?
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[The locking up is something that Shaw doesn't particularly regret, though she feels more conflicted about the involuntary commitment to a mental hospital than about the extra-judicial imprisonment at their home base. Purposefully keeping her in places where she was cut off from the Machine, though, is something she wishes they'd done differently.]
I decided to go with her, didn't I. She convinced me.
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You did. She said something about your father. Gave you a date. Pissed you off, but I think it convinced you that The Machine trusted her. And that she wasn't lying about trying to save people. Or- no. Save The Machine, but that would save people.
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[Shaw murmurs, closing her eyes as the memory starts to leak its way back into her.]
Yeah, that was a couple years ago. We went on a quest to save this guy who ended up joining her nerd squad and being pretty useful to us later on, so. Things turned out okay.
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Had a feeling. And yeah- she clearly didn't care about you holding a knife up to her throat. Was that the first time you met?
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