empathicfault | IC Inbox

Do you remember if your knuckles hurt? Were they split open?

Oh, yeah. They were a mess. Hannibal bandaged them up for me. I was- I'd been trying to get him to trust me. He's so careful, it was the only way to catch him. So I just...told him we were even. No hard feelings about the attempted murder-by-proxy.

[ He's mildly uncomfortable, saying it. But he's not sure why- he clearly went forward with that plan. ]

Think that's why you brought the perp's body to him?

I'm guessing so, yeah.

-plus, he'd want to cook him.

Would he have been suspicious if you hadn't brought him the body?

Suspicious of what? I mean, I'm pretty sure I killed that guy. Nothing to obfuscate, there. It's what he wanted.

[ He sighs. He's starting to get annoyed. He knows this is an outside effect. But why couldn't he just remember what happened, now that he knows? ]

He might've been disappointed, if I reported it to the police. Called it self-defense, whether it had been or not. So maybe that's what I wanted to avoid.

Suspicious of your intentions, I mean. If you were trying to gain his trust.

[... But.]

Right now, if he were here. Would you worry about disappointing him?

[ Will laughs. It's not even bitter, just amused. ]

I have never- [ Wait, let's amend that. ] I don't remember ever being worried about that.

This time...the only reason to avoid disappointing him would be to foster more of his trust. And yeah, maybe he would've wondered about my intentions if I didn't go all out? It wasn't like we'd get another chance.

So maybe I made the decision on my own, to take the body over there- I probably would've kept Jack informed, at least. He was the only other one in on the plan to catch Hannibal.

Whose idea was it, yours or Jack's? You remember that?

Mine. But I imagine Jack would've floated the idea my way eventually, once he finally believed what I'd been telling him.

Edited 2023-04-21 03:16 (UTC)

It just kinda seems... weird, for the FBI. Don't those guys usually work on bigger teams than one consultant and one-- whatever Jack is?

[ He chuckles. ]

Oh, this wasn't official. We'd tried some official channels- I'd tried all of them, and Hannibal was untouchable. This was very illegal. And personal, for both of us.

Jack was the head of the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI, by the way. A little embarrassing to have one of the most prolific modern serial killers working under you there.

Edited 2023-04-21 17:20 (UTC)

Sure, but he works you to the bone. You're just a weapon to him. And people like me, we can be weapons; it doesn't get to us. But people like you--

[She cuts herself off, frustrated. Frustrated, and not at all realizing that she's talking about things that Will himself has never actually told her.]

People like me break. And we'll never be the same again.

...how do you know what he's like, but you didn't know his position at the BAU?

[ Will can guess, but he's not sure how entrenched whatever memory she has of Jack is going to be. ]

I don't know, I--

[Remember.]

Did you tell me?

This is the first time we've actually talked about him. I think.

Do you remember anything else about him? You know what he looks like?

Doughy black guy, looks like a paper-pusher.

[She pauses as the realization of what this means sinks in.]

Oh, crap.

Yeah. Sounds like you got my emotions leaking in, too.

[ But now that they have this, they can look into it. Maybe they can figure out how the flood works, without having to ask other people. ]

Where do you remember seeing him? Anywhere in particular? What was he talking about?

I don't feel them now, I'm just... remembering how they felt.

[And feeling both annoyed and offended on his behalf.]

I think I am, anyway. It's kind of hard to-- quantify something I've never experienced like this before.

[But, okay. Facts she can focus on.]

You're in a really crappy-looking barn. There's a mutilated corpse hanging from the rafters.

[ Will hums in acknowledgement as Shaw explains the emotions situation. That has to be pretty confusing, but at least there's less of a possibility that emotions she doesn't feel are being forced on her. He's just not sure if it being just the memory of them is all that significant a difference. ]

Uh...hmm. Sorry, you might have to be more specific. Dealt with a lot of mutilated corpses.

A lot of mutilated corpses strung up from the rafters of a barn?

[She can't really judge. She's not really judging. But it sure does speak to the kind of life he lives, and the things that he's subjected to.]

Okay, uh-- the guy did it to himself, somehow. Flayed his back open, strung himself up, turning himself into an angel. Trying to absolve himself of his sins. And I knew what we'd find there when we pulled up.

[She pauses just a little too long here.]

You did, I mean.

[ Will just shrugs at the question. He doesn't remember any barn corpses, but he's still not entirely sure what's happening. He knows he's missing one memory. But beyond that- yes, his life has been full of mutilated corpses.

As Shaw talks, it clears the case up entirely. He doesn't even notice the fact that she's having trouble with her perspective. ]

...Elliot Buddish. The guy with the brain tumor. Right? And Jack was with me.

[ He's not sure, but he knows the case details. ]

You told him you needed to quit, and he guilted you and condescended to you about it.

[a.k.a. yes, Jack was with him.]

I had been doing poorly, especially with this case. Getting into those heads was causing me problems. And I could just see it continuing on forever.

[ He's silent for a moment, feeling something swirling around as he tries to remember it. There wasn't shouting, but Jack lectured him, didn't he? It's fuzzy. ]

What did he say? He brought up...how successful we'd been. That I'd caught three so far. But we hadn't caught Buddish, he'd ended his own life.

Edited 2023-04-23 02:06 (UTC)

He told you that you could quit if you wanted to. But he didn't mean it, and you knew it.

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