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[empathicfault]

"Will Graham here. Leave a message."

[Open for text/audio/action/whatever.]

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[cactusy]

[Shaw makes a small sound in the back of her throat.]

This is a really easy place to fail other people.

[empathicfault]

[ Will hums thoughtfully in response. ]

It can be. Maybe it's even an inevitability. The stakes are high here, on both sides of the aisle.

[cactusy]

Yeah, no kidding. And speaking of social problems - ready to talk about Bright?

[empathicfault]

[ Will takes in a breath and visibly prepares himself, watching Shaw's face carefully. ]

Sure. What about him?

[cactusy]

We kind of got into it. Again. He's probably going to come to you - if he hasn't already - and try to get you to fix things, or "translate" for him, or-- whatever.

[She pulls in a deep breath of her own, her eyes rolling up to focus on the ceiling.]

My answer right now is no. There's only one track to fixing things with me, and that's recognizing that I'm a person, not a set of interesting psychological data points that he's owed access to. And recognizing that interaction is a two-way street, and that as a person, me saying "I don't like how you talk to me" isn't the same thing as, I dunno, spitefully withholding a toy he wants to play with. If he won't do that, and right now he won't - that's a nonstarter with me.

[empathicfault]

[ Will's eyebrows raise as she speaks... then raise some more. By the time she finishes, he's staring at a dog (Winston) and appears focused on petting. ]

Okay.

[cactusy]

[Shaw is quiet for a moment, studying him; then she guesses--]

You think I shouldn't give up on him.

[It's honestly something she's been wondering herself.]

[empathicfault]

[ Will lets out a quiet sigh, the breath blowing out of him like a balloon. ]

I think...it might not be worth it to either of you to keep trying, actually.

And I also think you've read him entirely wrong.

[cactusy]

[Ah.]

I don't... think he's incapable of seeing people as people. I know he sees you as a person. I'm not calling him a monster, Graham.

[empathicfault]

[ Will laughs, and it's a bitter thing. Tired. ]

That's not what I'm talking about.

...you know, I listened to your whole conversation. Because you're right, Malcolm's already made it to me. He was ready to give up, too, and so I think that's why he shared. He wanted to know what he was doing wrong.

And I know I'm missing the foundation that this one was built on, but I didn't notice Malcolm not recognizing you as a person. When did that happen?

[cactusy]

If a person who you actually want to be friends with tells you that how you treat them doesn't work for them, you make an effort to change that. If you don't care about changing that - and he made it clear that he doesn't - that means they either don't matter to you as much as you claim they do, or you don't fully see them as a person. And I know I matter to him. But the fact that he won't even try to shift his MO, as well as a couple other things he said, make it clear that I only matter to him as an interesting puzzle. He's not apathetic towards me. He just kinda thinks my wants are irrelevant, at least compared to his own.

[empathicfault]

[ Will's brow knots, because yeah, this is where he was lost before. ]

Why do you think he's not making an effort? Why do you think he's made it clear that he's not making an effort? Because there are parts of his personality he can't change? Because he's telling you as much?

[cactusy]

He can't change how he thinks and feels. But anybody can change how they act, Graham, especially if they're being given step-by-step instructions on how to do that.

[empathicfault]

Yeah, it's called 'masking.' He did it for ten years at the FBI, and it probably contributed to his current state of emotional dysfunction.

You could do that, too, I bet. Be kind and pleasant and not give him panic attacks every time you talk. But you don't. Is that you not making an effort?

[cactusy]

Okay, I'm gonna ask you the same thing I asked him; what the hell do you think I was doing for ninety percent of that conversation?

[empathicfault]

I think you were trying. I think you were both trying, very very hard.

[ He gestures outward as he speaks, shaking his head. ]

And you kept missing each other, just by a hair. He was trying to be completely earnest with you and getting called uncooperative and lectured for his troubles- you were trying to communicate your discomfort and getting met with what you perceived was a brick wall.

[ He frowns, then looks upward at the ceiling, letting out a sigh. ]

You both got close to starting to figure each other out, but then you got too frustrated and quit. And you insulted him on the way out.

[cactusy]

[Shaw blows out a sharp breath, leaning forward and pinching the bridge of her nose.]

You're right, I shouldn't've lost my temper.

[empathicfault]

You shouldn't have. But if you were really at your limit, then...that's how it is. I know it can be difficult for either of you to disengage. [ He sighs. ] I don't know, maybe you both would benefit from some time just not forcing anything for awhile.

[cactusy]

It's really easy for me to disengage with social things, Graham. You said a couple months ago that you were surprised I was still putting up with him - it wasn't because I was taking the easy road.

[She sighs too, breaking eye contact again to focus on Bear as he finally comes padding over to them, sniffing Shaw before moving over to Will and the other dogs.]

But like I said, I'm done, unless he decides he's going to make a change in how he talks to me. And he's made it pretty clear that that's not gonna happen.

[empathicfault]

[ Will's eyes narrow briefly as Shaw talks about 'disengagement', but she continues on to reiterate her statement. He's actually not sure if she means it as judgmental as it sounds coming out, or if he's reading into it because he's too close.
But it doesn't matter.

He looks at the floor, face blank other than his usual level of mild exhaustion showing through. ]

All right, then.

[cactusy]

Graham-- I don't get what's going on here; isn't this what you just said you thought was a good idea?

[empathicfault]

I did.

[ He says it with a whoosh of breath outward that's not quite a sigh. ]

And I think it might be good for Malcolm to learn how to let something go, himself. Realize when a relationship is more effort than it's worth. So it'll probably be better for both of you.

Guess it's more- I wish you'd have let me actually help when things were happening, rather than sifting through the ashes of both your escalations.

[cactusy]

How could you have helped, if the problem isn't communication and understanding?

[empathicfault]

[ Dryly: ] I never said the problem wasn't communicating. The problem might be a way you both communicate that's extremely difficult to fix.

There were several points in the conversation I listened to that included an intuitive leap from one of you, something that wasn't true of the other. Maybe these had been addressed in previous conversations, but I doubt they all were. If I had the opportunity to step in and ask for clarification, I bet the whole thing wouldn't have turned into...that mess.

[cactusy]

Okay.

[Shaw rubs at her temples with both thumbs, closing her eyes.]

We could. Try again. But, Will, if the end result of all this is you thinking that Bright shouldn't have to make any adjustments in how he acts because masking sucks or whatever--