empathicfault | IC Inbox

[True to her word, once the wolfination happens, Shaw keeps to her promise to keep a close eye on Will. Outside of the patrols they'd already been doing together, she conforms her schedule to fit his rather than the other away around: not restricting his movements or activities, and not necessarily interacting any more than usual, but nevertheless hanging around a lot every day, quietly observing.

This evening when she finds him out on deck, she's been absent for a few hours, and as she leans forward against the railing she jumps right into:]

So it's been, what, about two weeks? How's it going so far?

[ Will has been different. Not greatly so, but enough to notice. He moves with a purpose. He looks far less tired. He's more willing to head off on his own during patrols, and Shaw has probably had to call him back a couple of times.

He's been the same with his dogs, though- patient, content. Both Winston and Buster are out on the deck with him now, unleashed and sniffing around. Buster is still a little tense, which mostly comes out in the way he sticks fairly close to Winston. Which means they both come over to Shaw as she walks over. ]

Since I was turned? [ He never did get a particular term. ] It's going well. I only get a couple of hours a day, but I wasn't sure if I'd be able to change at all. I'm still getting used to the heightened senses. I'm not getting as overwhelmed as I expected.

[ After a moment, he concedes: ] Malcolm's present from Chiron II might be the main reason for that.

Oh, yeah?

[She asks, pulling away from the rail to half-face him.]

What'd he get you?

A sensory deprivation helmet. I'm sure most people would hate that, but he knew it would be perfect for me. Gives me a break from the Barge whenever I need one.

I have no idea how it works, but it does.

That's pretty cool. I wonder if I'd like it for the same reasons I like zero-g.

How often have you been using it?

Only when I'm feeling a strain. So...every other day, about? Five minutes to twenty minutes at a time. Any more and my mind comes up with its own things to focus on.

[ That is, he starts hallucinating, which is kind of the opposite of what he's going for. ]

The zero-g lets you rest, right? Sort of turn off for a bit?

It lets me... not be here for a while.

[Which isn't always something she feels she should indulge, but.]

Or when the emptiness is particularly strong, it lets the rest of me float in nothingness as much as my insides.

Sounds like we are using them for similar reasons, then. Sort of a means to relax and reset. This environment isn't what either of us would've chosen. You have to engage socially with people who will most certainly misundertand you and you spend a lot of your time talking. With me, it's the...pressure of this many personalities, all at once. And engaging socially.

You can give the helmet a try sometime, if you'd be interested. You might get the same sensations out of that.

[ It mostly depends on if she wants things to feel entirely empty or not. ]

I'd like that, actually.

You remember what Wildthyme told me before you turned, of things to look out for?

[ He nods in acknowledgement. Next time they end up at his cabin, he'll offer the helmet for her to try. The question gets a somewhat sheepish smile. ]

Not entirely, if I'm honest. Emotions'll run high, watch out for old grudges, go real easy on the alcohol. I feel like I'm missing something...

Mostly the old grudges thing, yeah. I'm thinking we start working on her suggestion to burn off steam in the Enclosure when you're at risk of that stuff starting to surface.

Right. That's a great idea. I've been taking Malcolm running in the fake woods a lot lately. But it'd probably be good to have some more...visceral outlets, for when I'm feeling frustrated. I'll have to think on what scenarios might work best...

[ But maybe he shouldn't introduce the topic of what he'd like to hunt right now. He looks over to Shaw, his expression curious. ]

How do you think I've been doing so far? Noticed anything worrying?

No. But you haven't come to me with any issues, which either means there haven't been any or you've been keeping quiet about them. Either option's possible; I figure anything can have a honeymoon period.

[She raises an eyebrow, the obvious follow-up question unspoken.]

[ Will chuckles briefly. ]

I suppose that's what you could call it. I've been doing my best to avoid Barge 'politics' and focus on enjoying my new state. The sensory deprivation helmet has been helping with that, too.

[ He tilts his head thoughtfully. ]

I'm not sure if my precautions have been working or if I'm actually a little better at handling these emotions, having dealt with calming wildly out-of-place emotions for decades now. Either way, I've been appreciating the transformations, the enhanced senses, and the fact that I don't seem nearly so tired all the time. I think I'm sleeping better?

[ He says that the same way someone would say 'I appear to have grown an extra toe.' That wasn't on his list of expected effects. ]

... Huh. That's good. Were you sleeping bad before, or--?

Always have, and it got worse when I started working for the FBI. I try to make up for it when I can, but there's only so many catnaps you can take while on a break.

Now I sometimes get five hours at once. That's pretty huge for me. I'm having less entirely sleepless nights, too.

I guess that'd was implied with being tired all the time. My, uh-- standards are pretty skewed.

You ever need a rest break while we're working, you tell me, got it?

Yeah? Okay.

I doubt it'll come up too much in the future. Our activities aren't exactly stressful in the way looking at dead bodies and pretending I killed them was.

Good. Because none of this - patrolling, keeping an eye on you, everything else - it's not supposed to be a punishment.

[ He smiles. ] I know. It's...prevention, more than anything else. Being careful.

I appreciate you being straightforward with me about it. ...even if 'straightforward' is your default state.

Mm, prevention and being careful, but also learning. Being a Will Graham expert is my job, yeah?

[ That actually gets a chuckle out of Will. ]

So many psychiatrists would've killed for that job, you know? Metaphorically.

...mostly metaphorically.

IC Inbox

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject