empathicfault | IC Inbox

Malcolm’s expression creases and he nods slowly. “The fight with Raylan and the fight with Neal… they both happened because I lost my temper about something. And now… they both said they forgave me but it’s different now. There’s a… a wall there that wasn’t there with me before. And I lost control and made them put it up and nothing I say or do makes it better. I don’t know how to fix it. I thought everyone lost their temper sometimes, but… mine must be different somehow. More… more harmful or… “ He trails off. “Do you think it can be fixed? Do you think if it’s fixed they’ll let me be with them like we were before?”

Will leans over to kiss Malcolm gently on the side of the head before answering. "...I think that some of what you can learn here is that things always change, and it's never exactly the way it was before. But that's not always bad, not even if it starts out bad. Fractured bonds can be strengthened over time, as you continue to prove that you're trustworthy. So don't think of it as a wall. Think of it as a crack in your foundation, putting a little more distance between the two of you. You have to put some time and effort into shoring that foundation up again. Does that make sense?"

Malcolm nods glumly. “It’s just… there seems to be no limit to the things I can ruin by saying the wrong thing.” He twists around to look up at Will. “What if I say something awful to you in the heat of the moment? Where will I go then?”

Will reaches for Malcolm's hand and holds it, squeezing a bit. "Then I'll show you that when you break things, you almost never break them for good. You, Malcolm Bright, are not a relationship-ruiner. You are not a feelings-monster, and you're not any more destructive than most people. You've had a lot of bad luck. And believe me, I know bad luck."

Will gives him a small smile. "And like I said, we'll keep changing, but we'll change together. If we have some sort of disagreement...we'll talk it out. If we can't talk it out right then, we'll wait until we can. But I can't think of anything that'd break us apart, beyond...well, Hannibal. And...that'd be more physical than anything," he admits.

Malcolm snuggles back against him, clutching his hand.

“I’m not afraid of him. I’m dangerous too.”

"We both are," confirms Will, his smile returning. "Good. You're more prepared to handle him than...anyone, I think. Other than maybe me."

And he sighs with contentment as they both get comfortable again. "So. You don't have anything to worry about, in that case."

"I like the idea of having nothing to worry about but I don't actually know what it's like," he teases, fidgeting with the tail of Will's shirt.

Will laughs, lightly. "Well, that makes two of us. Although I feel like I've made a couple of strides in that area, at least. We're just going to have to spend enough time here that we get used to the idea."

"But I can always come here when there's too much to worry about out there," he confirms. "To the safe place."

"Mmmhmmm," Will hums happily, encompassing Malcolm in his arms. "And the cabin should actually stay safe here."

Malcolm knows about Randall Tier, and what Will did to the man who broke in to kill him. But here on the Barge? The cabins never seem to be messed with. "I know there's a lot of craziness out there on the ship. But you should always be able to reach both it and me." Will is doing everything he can to make sure of that.

“We need to put a bigger, more solid bed in here,” Malcolm tells him with a grin. “Before I take us both over and it lands on top of us.”

Will laughs. "Ah, and here I thought it might be a fun way to wake up." He kisses Malcolm's head, just one of his frequent familiar touches now. "I'll put in a request. I'm sure 'bed that won't fold in over itself' isn't too big an ask."

“If you get king size there’d be room for dogs on the other side of you, where I can’t accidentally kick them.”

Will signed up for the odd accidental kicking, but dogs can’t understand.

Will looks back over at the bed. "I do have enough room for it, if I put the art supplies back where they belong." He has a few canvases taking over the empty space on that side of the cabin, in varying states of completion.

"Plus, it'd just be...polite, to have more space for when you're here. Although I do like being close," he's sure to add. "Have you ever tried sleeping as a wolf, at all? Just a little dog-nap sometime?"

"You can do you art in my cabin," Malcolm tells him. He doesn't need to put them back. "There's a lot of empty space you can use. And then you can stay close to me and the other half of the bed will be dog space," he adds with a smile.

The question makes him pause.

"No. I've barely... I don't change much. Just when we go out. And one time with Iris. She came over when I announced I was coming back to counselling and we... ran around."

He nods, thinking about the art. It's not anywhere near as good as what Neal's capable of, but maybe it doesn't matter. The materials can at least sit around in someplace with more foot traffic.

"I'm glad she got to you," Will says with a small smile. "You might want to try it sometime, just napping. My dogs always look so peaceful. It might be nice?"

"...You think?" He considers it, then tilts his head to look at Will. "But I'm not going to be another dog on the bed, right?"

Will chuckles lightly, but his expression betrays a bit of concern. "No, no. I'm trying to find ways for you to enjoy your new state. I know it's tough for you to relax with it. And I was wondering what it'd be like if we both curl up together like that. It just sounded pleasant."

He kisses what he can reach right now, which is an ear. "I will find any way I can for us both to relax. I like this place, but it doesn't offer a lot of quiet moments." Other than the fact that it's brought them together, and he sleeps better here with Malcolm than he has in years. He wants more.

“I could try it.” He squirms a little to look at Will again while trying not to dislodge his embrace. “I could try it tonight. But. If I have lupine night terrors and bite you and then remember what that tastes like, like the moose, it’s daytime wolfing only. Deal?”

"Of course. Deal," Will responds immediately. He hadn't expected Malcolm to agree to this tonight. But they weren't the type to wait on things once they were decided. "We'll just give it a shot. Trying can't hurt anything here."

“The fact that you have instant healing makes it easier to try it,” Malcolm admits. He pushes himself up enough to give Will a kiss. “And I trust you.”

Will hums, pleased, as Malcolm kisses him. "Yep. That's at least a couple of good things going for us here."

He does hope that Malcolm doesn't have to know what he tastes like- even if Will is rather inured to the idea. Malcolm didn't need nightmares like that. But he doesn't think it'll happen, anyway. There's some violence in Malcolm's night terrors, yes, but they've been pretty manageable so far. And maybe he'll dream of being a wolf in them.

Will's smile takes on a satisfied smirk. "I'm looking forward to having a chance of keeping up with you in the fields. Even if they're Enclosure fields. I want to learn about all of this with you."

“When do you think it’ll happen?” Malcolm asks. “Do you think I have to be a wolf for a minimum amount of time before I can turn someone? I mean. With… some sort of supervision, obviously. They probably don’t let you just do it alone on your first go,” he muses.

"I don't know if there's that many rules or not, honestly," Will admits. "Although maybe? I'm going to ask Iris a few things, so I'll add that to the pile. But ideally- it can happen after that, anytime."

Yeah, Will doesn't like waiting on things. "Oh, it could depend on the port, too. That should be happening soon, right?"

"Should be, yeah. Why does it depend on the port, though?" Malcolm asks.

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