empathicfault | IC Inbox

"And the curse passes on," Will replies, in far less analytical fashion. "It does seem like this place is focused on turning it all the opposite way. Even for the wardens, sometimes."

He hums thoughtfully, before continuing on. "Shaw talked to me about that, too. The relationship things. She thought the whole reason I'm here is because of relationship issues, and- after I thought about it a minute, I think she might be right. I've never actually interacted with people in a normal way. And here all my coping mechanisms have been taken away. I feel like I'm...stumbling in the dark, sometimes."

"Maybe you just need to be where people don't expect normal from you," Malcolm tells him. "Maybe that will give you the space to work out who you are. And who you aren't," he suggests.

"I feel like I know who I am, but- that's not acceptable for graduation, for some reason."

He heaves a sigh that's intended to be overdramatic, then smiles wanly at Malcolm. "I'm hoping I'm merely missing something, perhaps small but important. And once it clicks, I'll breeze through. That seems to happen every so often."

"If a relationship thing is your problem... I don't think it's how you do relationships. Hannibal corrupted you. On purpose. I know how complicated it can be, but... there's something of his still in there," Malcolm says, wiggling his fingers at Will's temple. "I know. I have it, too. The... voice that... whispers. Do you always know where it ends and yours starts?"

That gets a real frown from Will as he thinks about how to answer. "No," he answers honestly. "It's not a voice, not a whisper, it's a...a symphony. I don't know if there is a way to separate our thoughts out, not anymore. The melding was strong and complete. So if that's it- well, I'm not sure what I can do."

He has a look of real concentration on his face. He's taking the idea seriously, but he's sort of at a loss.

"The Admiral wouldn't give you a goal that you can't accomplish," Malcolm tells him. "If there's no way to... purge him, then that's not the problem," he concludes simply.

"Hmm." Will still seems troubled. "I do wish I could give you a better answer than that. Something more reassuring. Something that indicates I'm...making progress, of some sort."

"You... don't have to demonstrate progress for me. I mean. I'd like to help if I can but... I don't need you to be Making Progress, as long as you're not going to... jump over the side or something. Sometimes people don't even figure out what their progress looks like and then bam! They graduate. So. I think you're doing fine. Besides, we don't know that you being here really has anything to do with Hannibal. Maybe it's about learning to say no to things that are harmful to you. Without.... jumping off a cliff with them."

"What, that's not the usual method of setting boundaries?" Will replies, giving Malcolm a wry smile. It shifts into something fonder and more genuine, however, as he leans his head against Malcolm's.

"You have a point. I'd rather not take too long and- ruin all our plans, that's all. I have a real reason to stick around now." For the first few months he was here, it was just extra time, icing on a cake. But he's invested now.

“Love will save the day?”

His fingers fidget absently at the front of Will’s shirt.

“We can take all the time you need here. But I think you are making progress. You found a real reason to stick around already,” he suggests with a grin.

Ah, this is nice. Will is glad to hear that Malcolm thinks he's making progress- and clearly, Malcolm really thinks so. And Will hates to ruin it, even partially, but--

"Mmmhmm. But you know that inmates don't always graduate, right? And the amount of time we have is also a mystery? I'd like to think I'd have years of the Admiral's patience, but I can't say that for sure."

Harkin can make himself sick with that worry. Will isn't as concerned, but- it's something to consider. It's why he wants to be on the Warden side quickly.

Malcolm sits up to look at him properly.

“He wouldn’t disappear someone redeemable just… like that. You’re working on it!”

He doesn’t sound entirely convinced, but he does sound adamant all the same.

He can’t just lose Will to another dimension. He can’t.

Will's mouth twists a little, as he regrets the words just as much as he figured he would. He reaches forward to put his hands on both of Malcolm's shoulders, steadying him.

"I am," Will confirms. "But that's why I don't rest on my laurels and consider it progress. It's why I want to make sure I'm working with Shaw and letting you know how it's going. It's why I'm listening out for what makes people fade from here- sounds like it's a lack of connections." So he really doesn't want to disconnect himself from the others on this ship, if only for that reason alone.

"I used to be satisfied with my end on that cliffside. I'm not, anymore. We both deserve our trips. We deserve a home where we feel safe." He leans forward and kisses Malcolm gently on the lips. "And we deserve to know the intricacies of love, every twist and bend and fold. I won't let anything take it from us." His eyes shine with determination. He's going to make this work.

That he believes. He smiles in the wake of the kiss.

“Lack of connections. Well. We can’t let that happen.” He kisses Will this time. “So… you’ve got Shaw and me. Sweeney. Who else are you close to?”

"Uhh." Oh no, what has he brought upon himself? This seems like a tough challenge. But as he thinks, he's finding he can come up with people. "Iris, definitely. And Sheehan. Anyone else is more of an acquaintance or friendly or...I'm not sure where we stand anymore. Reid, Laura, Yunlan, Raylan...Sebastian, Kirei, Kiryu..."

He rubs face, looking suddenly a lot less confident and a lot more like a rumpled cat. That was everyone, right? "Surely that's enough. Don't you think?"

“Yeah; it’s tons. Good job!” He pauses. “…Is Laura on the second list because of the thing at the party?”

Will chuckles at the 'good job,' wondering if he'll get a gold star after managing to collect fifteen people he doesn't hate.

But the question has his attention moving on. "That and the talk we had afterward. I mean, we came through it okay? But it was skirting some of the same things that fell apart for me back home. And all of those people could hit that point pretty easily."

Will's not sure why he's taking it any differently now than he used to. No expectations lead to less disappointment, and he knows that. So he shrugs.

Malcolm looks concerned, but it's for him, for his heart, not his checklist.

"What things? What things did it skirt?" he asks, fingers drifting restlessly across the front of his shoulder.

He doesn't think Will is really the one making things difficult; he's the one with a record of making things difficult here but he never wanted to make things difficult for Will.

Will's eyes look down at a worn-down patch of his couch. The last thing he wants is more confrontation between Laura and Malcolm- so he does his best to keep it vague. "It's the crunch of gears not fitting together properly. The moment when they realize that they don't know me as well as they thought. And that means I've betrayed them, or left them, or...I really am unstable." What a surprise, the roll of his eyes says.

He shakes his head. "It didn't get that far with Addy, but I could see hints of it. I guess I'm just trying to prepare for the turn."

"I know what's that's like," Malcolm acknowledges. "But... maybe it wasn't that. Maybe she just was surprised that you like me when the prevailing opinion she's encountered on the Barge is... otherwise. Maybe she's fine now, if that's passed."

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