I remember everything. Growing up. The choices he made and why. How he felt about his brother. But this is my second breach and it was like that after the first one. It took a few weeks for it to really start to fade. I worked a lot. I always work a lot when I need to get out of my head.
[ Will was planning on arguing, but what Malcolm says makes him take a big, shaky breath in and blow it out. Malcolm's trying his best, too. Will closes his eyes. ]
It feels like one of these lives is a joke- a parody- about the other. The evidence, I know, points a certain way. As far as feeling it, though. I can't tell.
[ He gives Malcolm an annoyed look, because he can barely step outside of it when the person is very different from him. But again, the further questions make it clear what he's getting at. Will tries to breath slower, and it evens out a little. He tilts his head back and closes his eyes. ]
Deeply unhappy, motivated entirely by a possibly codependent relationship with brother Harkin. Issues with arrested development, due to early childhood loss of parents. Chronic PTSD from identifying infected individuals for the local law enforcement.
[ He's not finished, but his face scrunches up as he fights tears. ]
I was apparently too sensitive for the work. But they used me, anyway.
He was too sensitive, but I can understand why you identified with him so strongly.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be a doctor like my dad. Help people. Save lives. Like my dad. My first breach, I was a doctor in a futuristic city. Son of a prominent surgeon, providing medical services to the poor for free. Part of me wondered if his life was how I would have felt if he was what I thought he was. Some people I talked to seemed to think that should have given me a sense of relief as opposed to say… grief.
[ Will sighs deeply. He can tell Malcolm is pushing him to separate himself into compartments. He doesn't want to. But he can't go on for too long like this, either, with conflicting actions popping up occasionally. ]
He...he got infected. It was-
[ He stops for a second, sits up straighter in his armchair. Frowns. ]
It was Hannibal. Dark hair, but- wait, that's- that's not possible. There's no way he could've been there. Right?
[ Will narrows his eyes as he tries to remember, but there's too many memories to sort through. He'll just have to check up on it later. Someone reminding him of Hannibal so strongly is a bad sign. ]
We'd been friends since we were kids... [ Not right. He's going to get corrected. ] The- the breach me- and him. But Sebastian had never been...normal. Just faked it. Anyway.
That Will- he got infected and. It went fast. It progressed so fast. He bit Harkin the next morning. Started believing he'd been infected for years, decades maybe. Joined up with a group that was just...doing damage. Lost his mind.
[ Okay, now it's a little easier to use the third person. ]
I've never had the same name in a breach, though I remember some people did. I think that would be more unsettling. Harder to separate it from yourself.
This time I was called Noah Walker. Raylan was my older brother Mason. He raised me after our parents were killed by the disease. I've never been the younger brother before. It was an interesting perspective that I'm sure my sister would gloat about.
I expect you'll gather a Barge family before too long. Maybe we can be that for you. I miss my family back home but... I've been making friends here. Slowly but surely.
[ He looks mildly hopeful and then suddenly frowns. He doesn't voice what just popped into his head. At the very least, his shaking seems to be dying down. ]
Seems like that happens around here, a lot. Maybe it's a case of all the misfits and outcasts being thrown together, finding like minds.
It's not what I expected, considering the inmate and warden dynamic. I thought it'd be a lot more...antagonistic.
It wasn't what I was expecting either. When I agreed to come here, I thought I was taking on another sort of... law enforcement-esque position but. It hasn't really been like that. At first I was a bit horrified that there wasn't even a comprehensive code of conduct or set of rules. Like. Ask two different people and they can't even agree that murder is necessarily wrong. But I guess you learn to work inside this... non-system in time.
I can imagine it's more jarring for the wardens than the inmates. All of us are in dire situations, after all. Almost anything's better than being dead.
[ He coughs a little and wipes his face. It's honestly kind of nice that it's just sweaty and not bloodstained. ]
Maybe the idea is to get more individualized help this way. No system, just people that'll actually help each other in each other's vicinity. It's...chaotic, but I don't hate it.
Intimidating. I wasn't sure how to fit in or what I was supposed to do here. It didn't help that some people recognized me from some other ship they collided with just before I got here. I don't have any memory of being there, but I'm told I worked there. It was some kind of mental hospital.
no subject
no subject
It feels like one of these lives is a joke- a parody- about the other. The evidence, I know, points a certain way. As far as feeling it, though. I can't tell.
no subject
no subject
Deeply unhappy, motivated entirely by a possibly codependent relationship with brother Harkin. Issues with arrested development, due to early childhood loss of parents. Chronic PTSD from identifying infected individuals for the local law enforcement.
[ He's not finished, but his face scrunches up as he fights tears. ]
I was apparently too sensitive for the work. But they used me, anyway.
no subject
When I was a kid, I wanted to be a doctor like my dad. Help people. Save lives. Like my dad. My first breach, I was a doctor in a futuristic city. Son of a prominent surgeon, providing medical services to the poor for free. Part of me wondered if his life was how I would have felt if he was what I thought he was. Some people I talked to seemed to think that should have given me a sense of relief as opposed to say… grief.
What happened to him? The person you occupied.
no subject
He...he got infected. It was-
[ He stops for a second, sits up straighter in his armchair. Frowns. ]
It was Hannibal. Dark hair, but- wait, that's- that's not possible. There's no way he could've been there. Right?
no subject
no subject
...is there someone named Sebastian Sims on this ship?
no subject
no subject
We'd been friends since we were kids... [ Not right. He's going to get corrected. ] The- the breach me- and him. But Sebastian had never been...normal. Just faked it. Anyway.
That Will- he got infected and. It went fast. It progressed so fast. He bit Harkin the next morning. Started believing he'd been infected for years, decades maybe. Joined up with a group that was just...doing damage. Lost his mind.
[ Okay, now it's a little easier to use the third person. ]
It felt like the encephalitis.
no subject
He had your name?
no subject
[ Will would shrug, but it'd just be an uncomfortable twitch. So instead he just slouches back into his chair. ]
no subject
no subject
[ And now he's curious. ]
What name did you have?
no subject
no subject
I, uh. I never had family like that, before. Harkin took care of me.
no subject
no subject
Seems like that happens around here, a lot. Maybe it's a case of all the misfits and outcasts being thrown together, finding like minds.
It's not what I expected, considering the inmate and warden dynamic. I thought it'd be a lot more...antagonistic.
no subject
It wasn't what I was expecting either. When I agreed to come here, I thought I was taking on another sort of... law enforcement-esque position but. It hasn't really been like that. At first I was a bit horrified that there wasn't even a comprehensive code of conduct or set of rules. Like. Ask two different people and they can't even agree that murder is necessarily wrong. But I guess you learn to work inside this... non-system in time.
no subject
[ He coughs a little and wipes his face. It's honestly kind of nice that it's just sweaty and not bloodstained. ]
Maybe the idea is to get more individualized help this way. No system, just people that'll actually help each other in each other's vicinity. It's...chaotic, but I don't hate it.
no subject
no subject
How was it before you figured that out, though?
no subject
no subject
Glad I missed that one. I didn't know there were other ships out there.
[ He's about to ask about details when he realizes he's not shaking at all, anymore. He takes a deep breath and it doesn't hitch. ]
Were you distracting me on purpose, or was that just going off on a tangent?
[ He'd believe either, considering the two of them. ]
no subject
[He studies Will for a moment.]
Do you want something to eat? Or drink?
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)