empathicfault | IC Inbox

[ Will is in the middle of his own mind, at the moment. Hannibal pats him lightly on the shoulder and says, "And this is where I must leave you." ]

Must you?

[ "Unfortunately. You must engage with your current therapist, if you are to unknot your mind. Your former therapist will wait." Will frowns, but Hannibal gives him an encouraging smile. And then he's out of Lecter's office and back in his cabin, wrapped in sheets. ]

Coming--

[ He scrambles off his bed and navigates the chairs to get to his front door. He's wearing a blanket as a cloak, and looks hesitant as he glances up at Malcolm. ]

Come in.

[ His expression twitches, as if he has no idea what face to show to the world. He walks to the small sitting area next to the door and flops down into one of the armchairs. ]

I- I was infected. [ That should explain, at least some of this. ] You?

Me? I was okay. I was working for the Underground. I'm sorry you had to go through the infection, though.

[He closes the door behind him and sits in one of the other chairs.]

Did it remind you of... things?

[ He pulls the blanket around his shoulders a little tighter. ]

Let's see...I mean, I ate about four or five people. And yet, somehow, that seems more realistic than my apparently real life where I don't have family and a psychiatrist also fed me people - cooked, this time- and now I'm on a magic spaceship to...to become a better person or something.

[ Is he starting to sound a little hysterical? Maybe a bit. ]

[Malcolm winces when Will explains he ate some people.]

That's... horrific. You were... conscious of what was going on? It wasn't some sort of... hazy, unaware state?

[ Will shakes like he's cold. He's not cold, he just can't stop. He lets out a hitched sigh. ]

No, I wasn't quite feral yet. But I decided to...speed the process along, apparently. I'd been a Guardian, but I never- never wanted...

[ He loses the sentence and gives it up. ]

I saw things, as the mold grew in my head. Hallucinated. But I remember all of it. I thought this was supposed to- to fade. Or something. For breaches.

It does. But it takes a little time. And it might affect you differently. Your… disorder gives you little choice in absorbing states of mind that you’re close to. How long does that usually last after the source leaves?

'Usually'?

[ He looks confused as he tries to think of how to answer that. ]

I don't know. A couple weeks or...months. And it's never been me, before.

[ He shakes his head, and looks back up to Malcolm. ]

How's it feel for you?

It wasn’t really you. It’s just like we possess someone else for a bit. How does what feel for me? The aftermath of the breach?

[ Will's face scrunches up in an annoyed snarl, about to tell Malcolm that he should tell his brain that it wasn't really him. But Malcolm moves onto questions, and Will stutters and lets out a sigh. ]

Yeah. Is it fading? Is it- you remember everything? Growing up?

[ He's just trying to find purchase, something to compare his experience to. ]

I remember everything. Growing up. The choices he made and why. How he felt about his brother. But this is my second breach and it was like that after the first one. It took a few weeks for it to really start to fade. I worked a lot. I always work a lot when I need to get out of my head.

Edited 2023-03-20 14:24 (UTC)

[ Will was planning on arguing, but what Malcolm says makes him take a big, shaky breath in and blow it out. Malcolm's trying his best, too. Will closes his eyes. ]

It feels like one of these lives is a joke- a parody- about the other. The evidence, I know, points a certain way. As far as feeling it, though. I can't tell.

Can you step outside of it? Think of whoever you were there as someone you had to profile? What would you say about him?

[ He gives Malcolm an annoyed look, because he can barely step outside of it when the person is very different from him. But again, the further questions make it clear what he's getting at. Will tries to breath slower, and it evens out a little. He tilts his head back and closes his eyes. ]

Deeply unhappy, motivated entirely by a possibly codependent relationship with brother Harkin. Issues with arrested development, due to early childhood loss of parents. Chronic PTSD from identifying infected individuals for the local law enforcement.

[ He's not finished, but his face scrunches up as he fights tears. ]

I was apparently too sensitive for the work. But they used me, anyway.

He was too sensitive, but I can understand why you identified with him so strongly.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a doctor like my dad. Help people. Save lives. Like my dad. My first breach, I was a doctor in a futuristic city. Son of a prominent surgeon, providing medical services to the poor for free. Part of me wondered if his life was how I would have felt if he was what I thought he was. Some people I talked to seemed to think that should have given me a sense of relief as opposed to say… grief.

What happened to him? The person you occupied.

[ Will sighs deeply. He can tell Malcolm is pushing him to separate himself into compartments. He doesn't want to. But he can't go on for too long like this, either, with conflicting actions popping up occasionally. ]

He...he got infected. It was-

[ He stops for a second, sits up straighter in his armchair. Frowns. ]

It was Hannibal. Dark hair, but- wait, that's- that's not possible. There's no way he could've been there. Right?

I'm not going to say it's impossible, but I think you know as well as I do that probably your mind is blending the memories.

Yeah. [ He shakes his head, trying to clear it. ] Yeah, has to be.

...is there someone named Sebastian Sims on this ship?

…There’s a Jon Sims. I think I met someone named Sebastien, but I don’t know his last name.

[ Will narrows his eyes as he tries to remember, but there's too many memories to sort through. He'll just have to check up on it later. Someone reminding him of Hannibal so strongly is a bad sign. ]

We'd been friends since we were kids... [ Not right. He's going to get corrected. ] The- the breach me- and him. But Sebastian had never been...normal. Just faked it. Anyway.

That Will- he got infected and. It went fast. It progressed so fast. He bit Harkin the next morning. Started believing he'd been infected for years, decades maybe. Joined up with a group that was just...doing damage. Lost his mind.

[ Okay, now it's a little easier to use the third person. ]

It felt like the encephalitis.

It was a brain infection, essentially. Maybe it basically took hold the same way.

He had your name?

Mmmhmm. Same name and everything. Just a zombie apocalypse and a different mental issue.

[ Will would shrug, but it'd just be an uncomfortable twitch. So instead he just slouches back into his chair. ]

I've never had the same name in a breach, though I remember some people did. I think that would be more unsettling. Harder to separate it from yourself.

Yeah. Definitely.

[ And now he's curious. ]

What name did you have?

This time I was called Noah Walker. Raylan was my older brother Mason. He raised me after our parents were killed by the disease. I've never been the younger brother before. It was an interesting perspective that I'm sure my sister would gloat about.

Oh. I knew Mason. Not well, but- [ He chuckles. ] Our brothers were friends.

I, uh. I never had family like that, before. Harkin took care of me.

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