Will Graham (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
empathicfault) wrote2023-06-18 11:04 am
empathicfault) wrote2023-06-18 11:04 am
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[Open for text/audio/action/whatever.]
[Open for text/audio/action/whatever.]
[ Will has considered the possibility of this happening to him. Shaw leaving, even though she's told him she's committed (he believes it sometimes, and sometimes he can't). Harkin graduating and getting out of Dodge as quickly as possible. He knows he would fall completely apart. So- yes, he knows what's pressing on Malcolm's throat. Even if he didn't have his condition, he would.
And if he knew Malcolm's brief consideration and refusal to entertain it, he'd be really proud of him. As it is, his smile turns slightly stronger and he nods. ]
I'd love tea. Do you still have that mint, sage, and chamomile one?
And if he knew Malcolm's brief consideration and refusal to entertain it, he'd be really proud of him. As it is, his smile turns slightly stronger and he nods. ]
I'd love tea. Do you still have that mint, sage, and chamomile one?
[His expression brightens a shade.] Yes! I’ll get some going. [He stands up his phone against the water pitcher on the counter so he’s still on the screen while he gets it down from the cupboard and puts the kettle on.] Mint is a good idea. [He scoops some into a diffuser.] A good idea. I feel a little sick.
I know, love.
[ He doesn't know where (or even who) the endearment comes from, but it still spills from his lips. ]
Hang in there. Focus on making the tea and I'll be there when it's finished. And I'll hug you for so long, you'll wonder if I'll ever let go.
[ It's a speed run through the commissary and then the dining hall, and luckily they have some blander food ready to go. The dogs stick with him, noting how focused he is.
He makes it just before the tea is done steeping. He leaves the video on the whole time. ]
[ He doesn't know where (or even who) the endearment comes from, but it still spills from his lips. ]
Hang in there. Focus on making the tea and I'll be there when it's finished. And I'll hug you for so long, you'll wonder if I'll ever let go.
[ It's a speed run through the commissary and then the dining hall, and luckily they have some blander food ready to go. The dogs stick with him, noting how focused he is.
He makes it just before the tea is done steeping. He leaves the video on the whole time. ]
[He concentrates on the tea, like Will says, keeping half an eye on the camera feed. When he sees his own door opening on the screen, he hurries around the counter, shifting his weight from one foot to the other so Will has a chance to let the dogs roam free in the apartment and put down his bag and whatever he picked up on the way. When he finally gets wrapped up in the most soothing of arms, his voice is muffled by Will’s shoulder.]
I don’t want you to ever let go.
I don’t want you to ever let go.
[ Will doesn't take long to get things situated, encircling Malcolm with his weight and warmth as soon as he sets down the bag of food and unleashes the dogs. He squeezes him close. ]
And you don't have to.
[ It's meant figuratively, but he'll make a go of it if Malcolm meant it literally, too. Will figures they could make it a couple of weeks without letting go, if they really wanted to. ]
I'm yours. Forever.
And you don't have to.
[ It's meant figuratively, but he'll make a go of it if Malcolm meant it literally, too. Will figures they could make it a couple of weeks without letting go, if they really wanted to. ]
I'm yours. Forever.
[He can't breathe, in the good way and the bad way because too much is happening but he doesn't want air. Will feels like the only thing anchoring him to the room. He can have that forever, Will says. He manages to take a breath.]
I can't just... make new friends. It doesn't work like that for me.
I can't just... make new friends. It doesn't work like that for me.
At the clarification of the cup's contents, Sweeney tips his head in approval. His tone makes it clear that he's moved past the requisite chiding phase, and has no lingering issues with the topic.
"Knew ya were with Malcolm. That's all that was really needed. Forests don't tend ta give wolves too much trouble, even filled with predators, an'...I know ya got Gaius as a backup." What else is needed at the end of the day? At the time, he didn't know anyone could get stuck.
"F'gured when the stop was wrappin' up, if ya couldn't find yer way back, the Adm'ral'd scoop ya up, like he does. And..." Sweeney takes a moment to consider the words, trying to capture the idea succinctly.
"If the worst were ta happen, an' there was no undoin' it, you were with the one person in the world ya should be. You two, together. Whate'er was ta come."
That's important. What he'd done wrong those years ago. Not 'done wrong', maybe. But had to carry the weight of, all the same.
"Knew ya were with Malcolm. That's all that was really needed. Forests don't tend ta give wolves too much trouble, even filled with predators, an'...I know ya got Gaius as a backup." What else is needed at the end of the day? At the time, he didn't know anyone could get stuck.
"F'gured when the stop was wrappin' up, if ya couldn't find yer way back, the Adm'ral'd scoop ya up, like he does. And..." Sweeney takes a moment to consider the words, trying to capture the idea succinctly.
"If the worst were ta happen, an' there was no undoin' it, you were with the one person in the world ya should be. You two, together. Whate'er was ta come."
That's important. What he'd done wrong those years ago. Not 'done wrong', maybe. But had to carry the weight of, all the same.
Welcome back. It's good to hear you.
I'm okay. Been busy. How about you? The river do anything weird? ...other than existing.
I'm okay. Been busy. How about you? The river do anything weird? ...other than existing.
I know.
[ He leans his head against Malcolm's. If he can help hold him here, then Will can be of more help to him. He thinks, anyway. ]
And even if you do make a new friend, they're not going to be the same. ...it's a loss, Malcolm. A significant one. You're allowed to mourn them. To grieve.
[ He leans his head against Malcolm's. If he can help hold him here, then Will can be of more help to him. He thinks, anyway. ]
And even if you do make a new friend, they're not going to be the same. ...it's a loss, Malcolm. A significant one. You're allowed to mourn them. To grieve.
But it's like Francis. They're going because they want to go. Their friends are supposed to support that, right? To be a good friend I have to support what they want to do? It's selfish to want them to stay here where they're not happy.
You can feel both, at the same time. Even with it being contradictory. And...you tell your friends the support part, and maybe even about the part that misses them, but you hold onto the rest of that hurt for yourself. Let yourself feel it. Get through it with someone who understands.
[ He pulls back just enough so Malcolm can see his small smile. He's blinking back tears from his eyes, knowing how much Malcolm was hurting. How much he felt Wrong, even for that. ]
[ He pulls back just enough so Malcolm can see his small smile. He's blinking back tears from his eyes, knowing how much Malcolm was hurting. How much he felt Wrong, even for that. ]
Tired and hungry are probably good signs. You didn't feel that way there, right? Or feel the passage of time?
[ Okay, the more pressing question: ] Do you need me to bring you a sandwich or five?
[ Okay, the more pressing question: ] Do you need me to bring you a sandwich or five?
The only reason I knew how much time was passing was because I could look at the network.
[Things she doesn't say: she'd done her best not to dwell on that, because it had reminded her of how it had felt to be in Decima's hands. Greer has certainly never afforded her a clock or a calendar. ]
Sandwiches would be good. I wanna see you, anyway.
[Things she doesn't say: she'd done her best not to dwell on that, because it had reminded her of how it had felt to be in Decima's hands. Greer has certainly never afforded her a clock or a calendar. ]
Sandwiches would be good. I wanna see you, anyway.
[He holds Will’s gaze for the moment, a little damp and blurry himself, then finally nodding, even as he sniffles a little.]
At least they’re going together. [That’s what he keeps saying.] To look after each other. Like we’re going to. [His hands move anxiously, from a shoulder along a seam to an elbow, from a pocket to a collar, like they’re just making sure everything inside that shirt is solid and real.] And they’re coming back in a bit. Neal says a couple of months, probably.
At least they’re going together. [That’s what he keeps saying.] To look after each other. Like we’re going to. [His hands move anxiously, from a shoulder along a seam to an elbow, from a pocket to a collar, like they’re just making sure everything inside that shirt is solid and real.] And they’re coming back in a bit. Neal says a couple of months, probably.
[ Will's hands, meanwhile, only move to smooth over Malcolm's back and shoulders. It's the way he can hug him tighter without actually losing the ability to speak (or squeezing Malcolm too hard). ]
If Neal said so, then I believe it. I know something happened over Christmas, and he needs to get his head on straight. That's pretty tough to do here...for most people, anyway.
[ Will doesn't ever ask Malcolm about Neal, and he doesn't generally guess at it either. He knows Neal hates that. But to ease Malcolm's panic? He'll psychoanalyze Neal all day. ]
If Neal said so, then I believe it. I know something happened over Christmas, and he needs to get his head on straight. That's pretty tough to do here...for most people, anyway.
[ Will doesn't ever ask Malcolm about Neal, and he doesn't generally guess at it either. He knows Neal hates that. But to ease Malcolm's panic? He'll psychoanalyze Neal all day. ]
[Malcolm bites his lip, nodding, and considers that.]
You know how I walk if I wake up during the night, when... we don't stay together. One night I saw him go into the Lounge at, like, three in the morning. He was upset about how Wardens reacted to the way he presented the mediation office. I told him I thought he made his appeal to the wrong group. He should have asked the inmates what they wanted to see, not the wardens. But he was... inconsolable. I haven't heard much about the mediation office since then. I hope he hasn't given up on it. I thought it was a good idea.
[He frowns faintly, then looks up at Will's face.]
I know everyone is here temporarily, but it's just been... a lot more temporarily for some people than I thought it would be. What if Neal and Raylan like living in Miami and don't come back? If they're happy there, they don't need any more deals from here. If they like what they're doing there, they don't need to come back here and finish work that doesn't feel appreciated anyway.
You know how I walk if I wake up during the night, when... we don't stay together. One night I saw him go into the Lounge at, like, three in the morning. He was upset about how Wardens reacted to the way he presented the mediation office. I told him I thought he made his appeal to the wrong group. He should have asked the inmates what they wanted to see, not the wardens. But he was... inconsolable. I haven't heard much about the mediation office since then. I hope he hasn't given up on it. I thought it was a good idea.
[He frowns faintly, then looks up at Will's face.]
I know everyone is here temporarily, but it's just been... a lot more temporarily for some people than I thought it would be. What if Neal and Raylan like living in Miami and don't come back? If they're happy there, they don't need any more deals from here. If they like what they're doing there, they don't need to come back here and finish work that doesn't feel appreciated anyway.
That's good, because I want to see you, too. Gotta bring Bear and Jet back, right?
All right, give me fifteen minutes and I'll be over.
[ He never gives himself enough time to get anywhere, but he does tend to make it somehow. In twelve minutes, he's knocking on her door and calling: ] Dog Delivery!
[ Bear and Jet both sit properly on either side of him, behaving very well despite the bag of foot-long sandwiches Will is carrying with him. ]
All right, give me fifteen minutes and I'll be over.
[ He never gives himself enough time to get anywhere, but he does tend to make it somehow. In twelve minutes, he's knocking on her door and calling: ] Dog Delivery!
[ Bear and Jet both sit properly on either side of him, behaving very well despite the bag of foot-long sandwiches Will is carrying with him. ]
Edited 2024-02-10 22:36 (UTC)
[ Will takes a few moments to lick his lips and think all that over. ]
...I don't think Neal would be satisfied with leaving his project unfinished. It would bother him too much. He'll want to come back. It only depends on if he and Raylan get caught up with something in Miami. In which case, they'll need our help...
We're going to have to remember to request some line of communication people can reach us by, in our little interdimensional houseboat. I'd want people to be able to call us, if they need help.
[ But he's getting off-topic, and he really shouldn't right now. He shakes his head. ]
I thanked Neal, by the way. After that post. It's a topic that's been important to me since I got here, what turns this place from a farce to a force for good. And...I think Neal knows that, too.
...I don't think Neal would be satisfied with leaving his project unfinished. It would bother him too much. He'll want to come back. It only depends on if he and Raylan get caught up with something in Miami. In which case, they'll need our help...
We're going to have to remember to request some line of communication people can reach us by, in our little interdimensional houseboat. I'd want people to be able to call us, if they need help.
[ But he's getting off-topic, and he really shouldn't right now. He shakes his head. ]
I thanked Neal, by the way. After that post. It's a topic that's been important to me since I got here, what turns this place from a farce to a force for good. And...I think Neal knows that, too.
[ Will smiles at the reunion, and it curls a bit at the question. He knew she'd need to ask. ]
Better, now that I can tell you aren't emaciated, just hungry. And...
[ He looks away, then nods- as if in concession: ] Better, since you started checking in fairly regularly. The little itch at the back of my throat, that tells me I should scream? It faded, some.
[ Will risks a look towards her, at least at the dogs. ]
I...I'm really not sure why I reacted so strongly, after we got pulled back onto the ship. We were here and you weren't, and I panicked.
Better, now that I can tell you aren't emaciated, just hungry. And...
[ He looks away, then nods- as if in concession: ] Better, since you started checking in fairly regularly. The little itch at the back of my throat, that tells me I should scream? It faded, some.
[ Will risks a look towards her, at least at the dogs. ]
I...I'm really not sure why I reacted so strongly, after we got pulled back onto the ship. We were here and you weren't, and I panicked.
[It was a good distraction, for a moment. The idea that their friends can call them.
But Will is right. On all counts.]
It’s the most worthwhile project anyone has come up with here.
[He leans into Will again, presses his face into the warmth at the crook of his neck. Into the scent of his skin.]
I tried to help people but I’m not good with them like Neal is.
But Will is right. On all counts.]
It’s the most worthwhile project anyone has come up with here.
[He leans into Will again, presses his face into the warmth at the crook of his neck. Into the scent of his skin.]
I tried to help people but I’m not good with them like Neal is.
I'm sorry.
[She looks up at him now, her expression deadly serious.]
I don't regret doing my job, and I fundamentally disagree with everyone who tried to tell me it wasn't my job, but I didn't want that for you. And we should, uh-- I'm thinking we should try to talk through why it happened. Maybe we can figure it out.
[She looks up at him now, her expression deadly serious.]
I don't regret doing my job, and I fundamentally disagree with everyone who tried to tell me it wasn't my job, but I didn't want that for you. And we should, uh-- I'm thinking we should try to talk through why it happened. Maybe we can figure it out.
Neither am I. I don't think we're meant to be people who help with...systematic problems. I tried back home and failed miserably. What we are good at is helping strays. The people who get missed by any and every system. Those that fall through the cracks of human sympathy, for whatever reason.
And maybe it's that which makes me admire Neal's intention to fix a long-running problem here. An issue that causes harm to the self-worth of inmates left and right. I don't even know if he realizes just how difficult a task it was, that he set out for himself.
And maybe it's that which makes me admire Neal's intention to fix a long-running problem here. An issue that causes harm to the self-worth of inmates left and right. I don't even know if he realizes just how difficult a task it was, that he set out for himself.
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