empathicfault | IC Inbox

Ah... [ Will suspects he knows what happened. ] Were they trying to make a bunch of them?

Some. He wanted me to take all the three stuffings and fill the tortilla with equal parts of each. But he didn’t have anything to measure them with. He said to eyeball it. I asked how much those things even hold. Like. A visual reference. I don’t know how much people put in them. They’re huge and the smell of ground beef makes me nauseated. He said just to put stuff in until it was full. If it got over full then take stuff out. So I did that and figured out the amounts and put the first one in the press and when I was just starting the second one he told me to leave. But I figured it out just like he said to and he didn’t let me try it when I knew what the portion looked like. I did it and then he made me leave. I warned him when he invited me that I didn’t know how to do it and he said he’d show me and then he didn’t show me and I figured it out anyway on my own and then he gave me the boot in front of everyone. He said he didn’t think I could work under that sort of pressure, but he didn’t even let me try after I knew how.

[ He listens quietly and nods along up until the 'he made me leave' part, at which point he seems to get lost in his thoughts and frown a bit. Yes, they're still hugging. And no, Will isn't separating anytime soon. Instead, he's rubbing circles into Malcolm's back. ]

That's rough.

You and Trevor have gotten along pretty well before, haven't you? This is the first time I've heard of him being short with you.

Yes. But... he contacted me during the thing with Hilbert. He's friends with Hilbert. I thought the conversation went well at the time but... do you think he did this to embarrass me on purpose? To get me back?

No. Trevor's not that sort of guy. He doesn't put any stock in embarrassment. He'd rather hash things out, if he has a problem. He'd tell you if he was really pissed off about the Hilbert situation.

But also, cooking is an anxiety-inducing job. It tends to leave anyone working it with their nerves fried, as they try to make sure they handle the timing of everything correctly. If he was in cooking mode, he probably didn't have the patience to watch you figure out what he meant by 'eyeballing' the amount.

Or he might've realized he put a task to you that was as tough as you said, that you weren't just being hyperbolic about the ground beef, and that he was doing you a disservice dragging you in there. Maybe it was a combination of both.

Either way, the problem wasn't really you. It was a bad situation.

But I said I didn't know how. He practically... cajoled me into going anyway. In public. It shouldn't have been any surprise that I didn't know how. But he kicked me out when I figured it out! I did it. I did it like he said. And then he kicked me out. In front of everyone. Even though I pointed out that I had worked out what to do! Are you sure he doesn't take an eye for an eye and an incident of public shame for an incident of public shame? I didn't even do anything to Hilbert except protect him from getting harmed any further.

Malcolm...hey, look at me.

[ He pulls back far enough for Malcolm to be able to look at his face, so he can see the truth in it. ]

I'm sure. Trevor's not a high-society guy, dealing in passive-aggression. He wouldn't do that to you. He either didn't listen to your words, or he didn't interpret them literally. It was a mistake on his end.

[ Despite the sad look in Will's eyes- this is all a reminder of how poorly Malcolm's been treated all his life- his lips quirk up into a small smirk. ]

Trust me. This is my area of expertise, right?

[Malcolm holds his gaze for a moment and then nods. He does trust Will and Will's perception of people. He's right about that.

Malcolm hesitates a moment and then confesses.]

I still feel bad.

[ Will pulls Malcolm into a tighter hug then and speaks into Malcolm's ear. ]

I know. I'm sorry.

[ He kisses Malcolm's head, just above that ear. ]

Do you want to talk it over? Or would you rather take a break from this?

I want to talk about it. I still don't... I still don't understand it. He could have let me prove myself after I figured it out. I bet I could do it, then. I didn't... how was I supposed to know how much stuff goes in one of those wrap things? I didn't have any frame of reference.

You didn't. I think he assumed you had a different frame of reference. You're from a time when these exist, but that doesn't mean you've even eaten tacos, much less a crunchwrap.

"They didn't smell good," Malcolm mutters petulantly. But then he lets out a breath. "It's... it's probably not a big deal or anything. I just.... I just get kicked out of a lot of stuff without actually being given a chance and..." And? He considers that for a second. "And when he said no, really, come down here and help us; I'll show you....... I believed him. I don't... habitually trust that sort of thing - I'm usually so, so careful - but I did trust him and... I feel like I got tricked."

"He let you down," Will replies quietly. "Him doing it out of a lack of consideration for you, rather than malice? That doesn't make it feel any better."

Will traces the curve of Malcolm's jawline with one hand, his thumb rubbing gently against Malcolm's cheek. "That makes it worse sometimes. I know. It was that way with Alana, most of the time."

Malcolm looks up at him, that contact from his fingertips so soothing.

"It hurt like this? Why didn't she..... care what she did to you?"

"She cared. But she didn't understand me. So what she thought of as help, or for my own good, often made things worse. And it made me realize that...we didn't know each other."

He lets his breath out in a sigh, but he doesn't look mad about it. If they had this discussion a year ago, it would've been different. "There were a few times she got things right, though. I learned to pick those times out and cherish them. Not until I was...here, admittedly. But I did."

"I guess that's the kind of thing that here is for..." He pauses thoughtfully. "I'm kind of mad, though, that everyone in your life was so selfish that a psychopath that bonded by stabbing was the most considerate one."

Will smiles, in that way that makes it look almost like a parody of a smile. "Amazing how that worked, yeah. I did often think that I was diving straight into psychopathy, considering what was expected of me and what I was being treated like. I don't think I'd ever consider people akin to cattle like Hannibal did, but..." But the worthless people far outweighed the good. Hell, the utter monsters far outweighed the good, too. He still doesn't feel entirely comfortable giving form to these thoughts.

"I was astonished, and then glad, to have it confirmed to me multiple times that people here didn't think I should've been...treated like that. Alana gets something of a pass because she was at least trying...even if her ego got in the way. Even if it hurt more sometimes. At least she did care about what happened to me."

“Well…” Malcolm slides his hands up Will’s chest to loop his arms loosely around his neck. “I care what you want. I didn’t realize at first that that was some next level thinking, but I’m going to keep doing it,” he promises.

Will breaks into a light laugh. His smile softens into something more genuine as he looks at Malcolm. "Apparently it is. ...thank you."

He pulls his hand back to put both of his arms around Malcolm's waist. "I'm sorry you had a disappointing experience. I've taken care to not...do anything like that to you, but if I do? Please tell me. I'll do what I can to make up for it." He wants Malcolm to know he'll always be there, at least. That he won't be a pillar that crumbles away when Malcolm least expects it.

"I... think you understand how.... how I work inside too well to do that, but... if it happens I will definitely.... look into why you're so distracted that you didn't notice," Malcolm says, serious but also smiling at him.

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