empathicfault | IC Inbox

I'm the selfish one. I don't- I know what she's doing, and why. But there's so many people on board that are less at risk. We've got necromancers. We've got a freaking necromancy god here.

You’re not being selfish, Will. She doesn’t understand what her job actually is here. It’s facilitating your graduation. Do you know how many people pressed my nose into that notion when I was concerned about not being able to see you without her chaperoning after Avalon? But is she doing that? I think sometimes she really is. I think many things about her are a good match for you. But then something happens and she absolutely has to be the only person qualified to run off and play Rambo all over the universe, like nobody else on board can handle anything, like you said. It’s a compulsion. And then she almost invariably gets killed and ends up tolling or dropping into a coma and what is she doing for you then? I mean, I’m probably not being fair to her right now, but it’s hard to, because she won’t listen to anybody and she won’t take the forever death and its likely powers and wiles to suck people into it at all seriously and it’s aggravating as hell. And you know what? If she does survive, she’s going to think she was right and I’m going to be an irrational coward for trying to warn her off. And the only other possible outcome is even less preferable than that.

[ Will takes all of that in quietly, and it's clear in the video that he's rolling over that in his mind. Finally, he lets out a small sigh. ]

Yeah. It's not that I don't understand that. I've...done similar things. Hell, I've actually gone to fights expecting to die, just because I thought it'd save more people. But I wasn't- I didn't have any options then.

I don't know why I'm even- I get it. Maybe it's because she's out there and I'm still in here, and it feels like...not enough. But this entire boat is practically full of- of 'heroes', where we're all used to being the Only One who can help people. And if we all followed that instinct, every one of us would be in that goddamn river.

[ He still sounds like he's searching, because he's not sure why he got so upset, he just knows that he was. Is? Was. ]

...she's having me watch Bear and Jet. I think she knows it'll help.

...Are you at her place or are you bringing them to yours?

I'm bringing them here. On the off-chance Root wakes up, I don't want to subject her to all that craziness.

...was sort of hoping I could bring you here tonight, too. Would that be okay?

[He's relieved; for a second he was worried he'd said too much, gone too far, even if Will hadn't reacted strongly.]

I can come any time you want.

[Like now, even. Even now would be fine.]

I already grabbed a shower and a change of clothes so I don't wreak of zombie gore and sweat and mud anymore. [He hadn't noticed when they were down there, busy with it, but he sure could smell his own self when he got back to his cabin.] Might have to burn the clothes I was wearing, though.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure mine are done for, too. No washing machine can get this much blood out.

[ He sounds tired but relatively content as he continues: ] Give me an hour and a half, about? Harkin's coming over with Jax. I just want to sit with some dogs on me and not think, as much as I'm capable. Probably use the helmet some.

Not a problem. Just call me whenever you want me to come. Say hi to Sweeney for me. I'll probably just be... enjoying some silence and lack of social pressure until then. This week was fun until the whole... people are stuck in the Death River thing. But it was also a lot of... Peopling. And I don't mean you. I mean other people.

Yeah. A lot of Peopling.

[ He very much agrees, even if it was broken up by plenty of violence for a palate cleanser. ]

I'll give you a call when I'm free. Feel free to call before that if you want. I'm gonna be attached to you like a lamprey when you're here, though, so plan accordingly.

[ Warning given, he'll say goodbye and will call almost exactly an hour and a half later, asking for Malcolm to come by. ]

[The lamprey warning does it: he’s smiling down at his feet when he hangs up the phone.

He takes the intervening time to feed Sunshine and check in with a few people. When Will calls, he shows up with his overnight bag, even though he’ll probably steal the shirt Will is wearing to sleep in. He still needs the other stuff in it: namely his meds. He’s carrying a rolled up yoga mat, which he drops by the door. His extra restraints have been attached to Will’s bed for a while now. He also has a blanket draped over his arm. He drops his overnight bag and holds up the blanket as he moves towards Will. Their snuggling blanket from his couch.]

It seemed like a good evening for the blanket.

[ Will gets up from the couch as Malcolm comes in, swaying slightly as the dogs reach Malcolm to greet him. Will gets over there eventually, though, hugging him close. He seems in better spirits, if only because he's been consuming said spirits. He hardly drinks at all anymore, so he wonders if that's lowered his tolerance. ]

It's a very good evening for the blanket. God, no wonder my dogs would steal mine sometimes. This one just smells right.

[ He makes a show of sniffing it and sighing, a small smile on his face. He starts moving over to the couch, not flopping down on it only to be careful of excited dogs. ]

Did you get some good quiet time in? I know it's only been a couple of hours, but you never know here.

[Malcolm smiles as the dogs mob him before Will gets there, reaching down to scritch behind some ears until Will arrives and Malcolm squeezes him back just as tightly. He had a small glass of scotch himself, so he's not one to talk about the smell of whiskey.]

I got enough of it. [Malcolm says of Quiet Time, curling the blanket around Will before wrapping himself into the other half as he settles in next to him.] You time is better. [More soothing. More relaxing. More calming. He presses a kiss to Will's temple, then curls up against his shoulder.]

Mmm, yeah.

[ Will agrees, taking a big breath and sighing with happiness as they settle together. It's almost automatic by now, the way they snuggle together under the blanket, Will adjusting so that Malcolm's more comfortable leaning on him. ]

Think it took some time for me to shift from this past week to being on the ship again. Not that I'd want to live out there, just...it felt nice to be making my own choices, helping people on my own terms. Doing it with you.

[ His eyes dart over to look at Malcolm and he smiles. ]

[Malcolm smiles.]

Like how it’s going to be when we’re done here. Except we’ll have even more freedom in terms of where we can go.

[He lifts his head and looks at Will.]

I had a lot of fun, you know. On the planet. Doing all that. That’s not weird, right?

[ Will smiles so wide his eyes close. He looks practically blissful that way. ]

How would I know if it's weird? But we both enjoyed it. That's the important thing.

It felt like...I don't know, a preview of what we might have in a couple of years. What we're meant to be doing. Except maybe I'll be a little more practiced with your historical weaponry. You, of course, were fantastic the whole time.

[ He rolls just a bit to kiss Malcolm on the head. ]

[His smile gets broader, brighter.]

I’ll practice with you more. …In the Enclosure, where I can’t accidentally kill you.

[His fingers fidget absently with a button on Will’s shirt.]

I think it means we’ve made the right plans for our future, that it felt so right. And… for a little while at the start, it was like we were the only two people on the planet and it was… peaceful. Even with the monsters and stuff. Because that kind of threat is quantifiable, but removing… society really took more pressure off than I expected. I guess… I guess I knew that I live with a sort of constant awareness of… of the gaze and expectations of other people, but I really thought… I thought it didn’t affect me like it used to. Well. It doesn’t affect me like it used to. But. It’s still… a Thing. Which is annoying. [He scrunches up his nose a little at the thought.]

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