empathicfault | IC Inbox

I thought it was weird how personally they both took it.

[Shaw muses, still following.]

It was all about how they felt betrayed as your friends instead of anything to do with your progress as an inmate, which at first I was thinking was unproductive, but, uh--

[She pauses, pursing her lips.]

Going along with the idea of this place being some kind of proving ground, I can see how it'd be good for you to have to work out how to deal with that. You wanna talk about the jumbled-up parts first, or rest first? You look like you can barely walk straight.

[ He considers, then shrugs. ]

The rest'll go better if I actually untangle this some, I think. Can we head to my place to talk?

[ As they're walking, he suddenly coughs a bit, or- not it's a bitter little chuckle. ]

I was just thinking that I-- miscalculated. I didn't expect personal feelings to enter into this, either. And they both seemed so betrayed, yeah, by how manipulative I was, but....if I'd actually been good at it- [ Like Hannibal. ] -no one would've noticed. So it's more that I tried and failed, or...tried and decided to come clean.

[She bounces her head in response to the question; lead the way, Will.]

Or a mix of both? Seems to me like you tried, failed to realize how far-reaching the effects of it had gotten, and decided to come clean. You didn't fail at the manipulation, but you failed to realize that it might have effects beyond one little twist.

Mmmm. [ It's a hum of agreement, of thoughtfulness. ]

Yeah. Could be...they felt I didn't regard them or their feeling or their morals enough. I truly thought they were just raising concerns to...show they cared, you know? The sort of care where no one actually does anything, they just talk about it.

-that sounds...derogatory, but. I don't mean to be, it's just-

[ He shakes his head. ]

The possibility of therapist malpractice is not the sort of thing I've seen people overreact to.

Personally, I think it's weird to call them all therapists in the official medical sense, when any warden who feels like it can walk in and request a key - and I think it's weird that this is the ethical hill people are ready to die on when so much else gets thrown completely out the window. Doesn't mean I don't think it'd be bad judgement for someone to try to fill all those roles at once, but, uh-- you know what I mean?

Ah...no, not exactly.

[ He's only mildly confused, though. And this is probably a better topic to go into than a rant on ethical hills. ]

'Fill all those roles at once'?

Counselor and boyfriend. Or therapist and boyfriend, or... whatever term people want to use for what's basically just a peer-to-peer support group. Doing counseling office sessions with you and trying to date you at the same time would have been a bad choice. Doesn't mean I think it would have been the exact same thing as medical malpractice between a licensed therapist and a patient who's paying them, though.

Oh, right. Of course. I would understand if people were concerned, by that point. But that's not what we were doing.

[ He's quiet until they reach the elevator. The door closes and he speaks up again. ]

I...need to apologize to you, too. I didn't lie directly, but indirectly...a lot. In little ways, about this. I don't know if it would've been better if I kept trying to convince you or straight-up refused to go, but it definitely would be less...complicated, right now.

[Once they're in the elevator and she doesn't have to pay attention to where she's going, she turns to look at him straight-on, regarding him thoughtfully.]

Lemme ask you a question. When I said I wanted you to talk to all the counselors, what did you think I wanted you to do in those sessions?

[ Will's eyebrows shoot up. ]

Be...counseled? Work on my many and varied emotional issues so you don't have to decipher all of them?

[She shoots him a fingergun.]

Nope. I mean-- I didn't not want you to proactively work on your issues, but I wasn't expecting you to do it - not right at the start, and not with strangers, especially not with your history. Do you remember what I said when we talked about it back then?

[ Will frowns slightly. ]

Apparently not.

[Apparently no offense is taken; she doesn't look annoyed, or bothered in any way.]

I told you I wanted you to get some broad exposure to therapists who aren't dicks. People who say they want to help people work through their issues, and who actually mean it.

As far as I was concerned, just chatting with them? Not actually a problem.

....oh.

[ The elevator opens and he starts the walk towards his little corner of the Barge, not speaking until they get near his door. ]

Well. I guess I've done that.

[ He opens his door- the dogs in their beds all wag a sedate greeting, and he heads over to pet them. ]

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