IC Inbox

[empathicfault]

"Will Graham here. Leave a message."

[Open for text/audio/action/whatever.]

Comments

[abrightboy]

It’s… disorienting, if it’s quiet in there, coming back to the… noise. Someone who… means well, but doesn’t know how brains work suggested I should use those sorts of experiences to show my brain what it’s like to be normal.

[empathicfault]

[ That gets a bitter laugh out of Will. He's had a lot of 'help' that 'means well.' ]

I'll try to be generous and think that they just meant you should try to...repattern your thoughts the same way or something. Like you could do it if you just had a map of the 'correct' way.

[abrightboy]

[Malcolm smiles wryly.]

I believe that’s what they meant, yeah. Like if I could feel what a normal brain is like on the inside, I would be able to adjust my brain until it feels that way, too. No luck with that so far, but quiet brain breaks: a double edged sword but enjoyable while they last, is my review.

[empathicfault]

Yeah, I don't know if that sounds a whole lot better. More convenient for the people around you, maybe. Less of a possibility of you looking rough for tabloid photos, but...harder to come out of when you don't have the experience handling these things?

[ Let him know, Malcolm. He's totally guessing, and that's clear in his tone. ]

[abrightboy]

It's a let-down. And it's rough, the every day stuff that you were used to before it.

[empathicfault]

[ He makes a bit of a face, not very pleased to hear about that, and then sighs. ]

Yeah, I imagine that would be quite the loss, once it's gone. Did you mourn it properly? Or was it more of an unwanted gift, doomed to be shoved into a drawer and forgotten?

[abrightboy]

Maybe somewhere in the middle. I missed it, and I tried not to dwell on it, but I don’t want to forget it, either.

[empathicfault]

Oh, well. That just sounds healthy.

[ He says it with mock-disappointment, but he does smile a bit. ]

At least you're giving me an example to follow.

[abrightboy]

I try to be a good friend. [He watches Will for a moment.] How have you been coping with the noise since we talked?

[empathicfault]

[ Will's smile fades a little, thinking about it. He pauses for longer than one might expect. ]

Two things...It hadn't been getting better, before the Breach. But I was starting to feel more 'settled' with it, if that makes any sense. Like the horrors were at least organized, in my head. Blood goes over here, spiders are over there, eyes go on the walls.

[ He looks a little amused with himself, but continues: ] But- ah. It's not bad, now? I'm sure it won't last, but it all feels...faded. It's not as raw.

[ His eyes flutter shut as he actually opens himself up to his visualization, something he almost never does in front of others. ]

It actually feels like someone else's feelings, for once.

[abrightboy]

Is this the first time it ever has? Or was there a time when it did before it overwhelmed you?

[empathicfault]

No...not the first time...

[ He takes in a deep breath and opens his eyes again. He nibbles on his own lip for a moment before shaking his head and shrugging. ]

When I'm on a case, the noise fades. It's just replaced with whoever I'm chasing after, for a time. Their fears, their purpose. This is- it's a little different. I think.

[abrightboy]

So when you're focused on one person so fiercely, their voice takes over your whole mind?

[empathicfault]

Yes. -well. Most of it. I've managed to set up routines to try and turn it 'on' and 'off', but they don't always work.

[ He looks down at the floor, a move that, by now, Malcolm should be able to recognize as Will trying to hide his discomfort. ]

At least the nightmares I get during those times are more focused.

[abrightboy]

Do you collect them? Other people's nightmares? Do they stay with you when those people are gone from your life?

[empathicfault]

Yes. They'll fade, eventually. But they don't disappear. I tend to wake up very disoriented.

[ He huffs out a sigh as he realizes something. ]

Better get ready for the mushroom ones again. Think those might be out of my diet for awhile.

[abrightboy]

Yeaaaahh. I have kind of a... delicate stomach. Dead bodies don't make me queasy but most food does. Weird, right?

[empathicfault]

You know, if Hannibal were here, he'd fix you up something you could handle.

[ Totally serious delivery. ]

[abrightboy]

My inmate is kind of a chef. And I know what he’s putting in my food.

[empathicfault]

[ Come on, nothing? Will looks slightly disappointed, but moves along with Malcolm's topic. ]

That would be preferable. But Neal can cook, as well? Sounds like you got lucky with the inmate assignment. I feel sorry for whoever ends up with me.

[abrightboy]

[Malcolm has disappointed him somehow. He recognizes that he’s more concerned about that than he is with most people.]

I’d feel lucky if I had you as an inmate. But Neal’s great, too. He’s a good person, fundamentally. A little hungry for attention, but that’s normal in cases of childhood neglect.

[empathicfault]

[ If there's anything that helps Will feel like his non-Breach self, it might be catching onto someone's feelings while they're happening. He stops moving for a moment, his mouth opening a bit as he works through it. He licks his lips and looks up at Malcolm. ]

Maybe I should call that profiler feedback. What's wrong?

[abrightboy]

I said something wrong. I... don't know exactly what. It happens with me a lot. With a lot of people, I mean. It just... I'm usually fine with it and I don't know why it's bothering me more than usual now. I guess your respect is particularly important to me.

[empathicfault]

[ Will can't help it- he laughs a little. ]

You want to know what was wrong? I made a dumb, inappropriate joke and you didn't follow me on it like Hannibal would've. I'm just... [ He shakes his head. ] -missing him. It's nothing to do with you.

You do have my respect, you know. I wouldn't have reached out for your help, if you didn't.

[abrightboy]

[Malcolm smiles at his knees before looking over.]

You guys had banter, huh? I am... not usually included in banter. Bit... unpracticed at it.