empathicfault | IC Inbox

[ Will doesn't mean to laugh, and he really tries not to. But there's such joy in Malcolm's question- one that Will has already answered, but not all these answers get through the first time, he knows. He vows to himself to never take that away. And he leans over to kiss the top of Malcolm's head in order to- hopefully- convey he means no harm by his little chuckle of an outburst. ]

No, never. And I'd never want you to, if you didn't want it. And I don't think you do.

What you do want...in my estimation- [ Important to admit that, because he's very capable of being wrong. ] -is to have control. You want control of a situation, and maybe control of particular people. It's what you were never afforded here. It's why your father doesn't deserve death, but he also certainly doesn't deserve freedom. It's why you love cases, especially where you talk down a killer or catch them in their own traps. Does that...resonate with you, at all?

[He smiles.] That’s part of it. Beating them at their own game. Giving them a little of their own medicine, when they’re truly malevolent. Letting them feel the fear they don’t think twice about inflicting on others. Turning the tables on them just when they think they’re winning. [He looks up into Will’s face.] But I want to save their victims, too. The innocent people who were just in the wrong place at the wrong time… but also the Abigails of the world. Not just the people they kill, but the people they break. I remember every person that saved me. Gil. Gabrielle. The Admiral. You and Neal. I want to give people a chance they wouldn’t have had.

[ He's still got his fingers entwined with Malcolm's and he squeezes that hand. ]

I want that, too. That's...not the dark part, but. I want that too. Championing the vulnerable, saving the people who might be broken. We are, but they don't have to be. We can understand and outmaneuver and outpace their villains. I'm not as good at saving people as I'd like to be, but you-

[ His voice is warm and fond and full of admiration. He picked up punishing the wicked far more than what he'd originally wanted- preventing the tragedy in the first place. It hasn't escaped his notice that Malcolm has had more successes. ]

I can learn from you.

[Malcolm’s eyes widen a little, and then his smile does too. Will wants to learn saving people from him. Part of him wants to shout it at the people telling him he’s bad for Will. The rest of him is too busy swooning. He glances around the family murder basement.]

Can we go back to your cabin? The one in Wolf Trap, not the Barge one.

[ Will grins back at him. ]

Sure. I'd like that.

[ He puts his arm around Malcolm as they walk out of the space and back up to the street. It doesn't take much to bring up Will's house again- it's been preprogrammed into the Enclosure for ages at this point. It's kind of amazing how different it feels to his cabin, with the entirety of his land to look out on. ]

[Malcolm looks out the window for a moment before stepping over to Will and wrapping his arms around him, gluing himself to his side.]

I can see why you like it here. Might have to do something with the furniture. [He grins up at him; he’s teasing.] I’m kind of mad that they… intruded on this. Broke your peace.

[ Will himself looks intensely content with Malcolm here by his side. He often seems hooked up to a livewire, a mass of twitches and overstimulation. So times like these, when he's feeling good? He takes advantage. It doesn't hurt, having his arm around Malcolm while Malcolm's holding onto to him just as much. ]

I know it's sad I have to ask- [ He says it with amusement, at least. ] -but which 'them' are you referring to? The FBI...Hannibal and Randall Tier...the Barge...?

Everyone except the Barge. The Barge got here late. [He tilts his head up to look at Will’s face.] Were you happy? Here, before they came?

[ Will's lips curl up into a smile. The Barge did get here late. By the time they showed up, he'd lost this place. It was a kindness to get it back, even if the form wasn't initially entirely to his liking.

The question takes a long moment of thought to answer. ]

...I was managing. I didn't, didn't know who I was, then. Not even then. This place was the quietest I could find. No- ...there was some part of me that was drawn here, but I didn't know then if that was me or something else I picked up somewhere along the line. I thought, maybe...if I had it long enough? I could find a baseline, for myself.

I think it did help me start figuring out...what could be happy for me. Does that make sense? [ He's not sure it does. ]

Yes. It does. [Maybe it wouldn't to everyone, but it makes sense to someone else who has struggled to define who he is and what he wants between neurodivergence and trauma.] I thought I would find it in DC, working for the FBI. I'd be away from everything that made me in his image and just... be me. And then they found out about him and fired me for being too much like him... and I realized that I would never figure out who I was without taking him into consideration. But I never have quite figured out how. [He looks up at Will again, nuzzles his nose against his jaw.] I can't wait until we have our own ship. Our own space. Our own choices. That feels the most like... like defining ourselves instead of being battered by everyone else doing it.

[ Will closes his eyes as Malcolm nuzzles closer, baring his neck briefly before turning his head to catch Malcolm in a kiss. He wants those things, too. It's a future in the light, and he can feel it crystallize in front of him. It feels like sunshine on his face.

He smiles against Malcolm's lips. He'd been planning to talk about how he sought out the FBI as well, but his focus is elsewhere now. The future, not the past. ]

I had thought we'd recreate your home for the interior, but- perhaps we should design the space together. Your cabin, this place- they're intermediaries, for both of us. Meant to help us reach out and see who we are. I feel like...we can get closer.

Completely our own collaborative design? I love that. We can even start working on it in here, before we get out there. If we have ideas we can add them as we go. So when it's time... we can just... go. [He kisses Will.] Start our life.

Exactly.

[ Will looks up, smiling, then over to Malcolm. ]

And...of course, we've got plenty of time here on the Barge. We can make our plan, adapt and evolve it as needed. I'm thinking, to start...an open space for most of the layout. We both seem to like that.

I do prefer that, definitely. I’m claustrophobic commensurate with the smallness of the room. That’s why I sleep on the main floor of the loft and not upstairs in what was once the master suite. Why do you like it?

[He just likes learning about Will.]

Ah, I feel safer that way, too. I liked-

[ He gestures vaguely at the large and uncovered windows, which are different than the plain cream window shades that cover them in his cabin. ]

-liked being able to see people coming. Knowing that I was going to be interrupted. It gave me time to get myself ready for other people.

[Malcolm considers that and turns his head to look out the nearest window.] Oh! That's good! You can see all around. [There have never been other humans while he's visited the recreation. It wouldn't have occurred to him.]

I like how isolated it is here. That bodes well for living on a space ship, right?

[ Will chuckles as Malcolm notices about the windows. Yeah, it's nice. It's infinitely nicer that here in the Enclosure, they haven't had to worry about interruptions. ]

I suppose it does. Although I don't know how much we're going to actually be in space. Unless you'd like to, of course. I think we can probably get something that travels instantaneously.

...so we can be as isolated as we want to be, in that case. Stick our ship on an uninhabited planet, or in the middle of Manhattan.

[Malcolm’s eyes widen and his face brightens up.]

That’s a thing? That’d be great! Can we also be in space if we want to? Like. Have coffee while looking at a nebula?

That sounds very indulgent. So of course we should do it.

[ He punctuates that with a grin. He loves seeing Malcolm's face light up like that. ]

And I figure...what we're asking for is a miracle, right? Those are the Deals? So as long as we figure out the particulars beforehand, the Admiral should be able to do it. We just have to be specific enough.

Like...now I know we want at least one big window for nebula-watching. Maybe a protective bubble around the front door so we can open it up and dangle our feet out.

…If we can have a protective bubble, why not a space veranda to dangle our feet off of? Because we could also enjoy that if we were parked on a planet.

[He almost jumps up at the next thought in his mind and the aborted gesture ends up just seeing him sort of bumping against Will in his excitement as he gestures with his hand.]

Oh! What if we had a skylight above our bed so we can see the stars when we’re in it, whether we’re in space or it’s just nighttime?

[ Will lets out a surprised 'oh' at Malcolm's sudden suggestions, because they're fantastic. The skylight idea gets an awed grin. ]

Perfect. I was thinking we'd keep the outer shell- the part that interacts with the outside worlds- small, so we can park it anywhere. But if we can have windows into these worlds...I'd love that. Open sky over us...

[ His words drift off, but he's smiling. ]

Ah, I like the veranda idea, too, though...

It could be on the roof. To keep the footprint small. Just not over the bedroom. Can't block out night sky view. And we can still have a wall that's all windows. Like. One way glass windows.

On the roof. Of course. We're going to have to write this down. -or make an Enclosure program of it. Get it just perfect. Oh, maybe the rooftop could have a garden. Be a good place for the dogs to spend time.

And I should probably keep a room separately for tinkering. Keeping all my fishing gear and any parts- ah, right....

[ He looks over and grins. ] Haven't really been able to work on it here, but another hobby of mine is fixing up boats. I like working on the engines.

[Mechanical skill is impressive to Malcolm; he’s clearly impressed.] Gil used to let me help him work on his car. I know the names of almost all the kinds of wrenches. [Yes, he’s definitely a big help.] It was my job to hand them to him. [In case the reason he knows them wasn’t obvious.] Where did you learn about boat engines?

[ Damn, Malcolm's cute when he's impressed. Will grins, even if he looks a little shy about it. It wasn't exactly the impressive skill to have when he was learning it. ]

I lived on a houseboat growing up- multiple, actually. If there's one thing houseboats love doing, it's breaking down. Dad was often busy with work, so I learned how to fix it myself. We moved a lot- usually my fault- so it felt like the least I could do. And I found messing with the parts relaxing.

As I got older, it became a good way to make some extra money. Plus, it's a quiet job. No one wants to hang around a boat that's not going anywhere.

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abrightboy - 2023-11-18 21:31 (UTC) - Expand