empathicfault | IC Inbox

I can see that.

There will be more breaches. Do you think dealing with that is going to get easier or harder for you?

[ Will considers this. ]

I think....if the next one has something to do with cannibalism, I'm going to start taking it personally.

Can you tell me more about the previous breach? You said it was futuristic?

Yeah. It was a futuristic city. Some people were bounty hunters and, um, I know Thomas Blanky worked at a bar. And I think Raylan owned one? Pagan was a rich guy that threw fancy parties where I did fundraising for my free clinic. Neal was an artist who just found a patron.

That definitely sounds like more fun.

[ And it is appropriately distracting him away from his recent horrible actions. ]

Neal's your inmate, right? Not a temp one? Is he an artist here, too?

Yeah, he started as my temp and then they put us together permanently. He knows how to paint; he's been giving me lessons, but back home he was consulting on while collar crimes for the FBI as a CI. He was an art thief and forger before that, apparently.

Oh, an art thief. Much less gruesome than what we usually get into, but still exciting. -or at least, that's the little I've heard about it.

Sounds like it was a good breach for him too, if he found a patron in it. Did you help a lot of people, in your clinic?

Completely ungruesome. He was a true cat burglar, apparently.

I treated a ton of people. A lot of children. I also attended one of Pagan’s parties and guilted the rich into donating.

Careful. Around here, people might think you mean a literal cat.

[ He smiles, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. ]

Please tell me you had the opportunity to cause a scene at the party, while you were guilting people.

[Malcolm laughs.]

No, apparently that me was very schmoozy.

Aw. Well, at least that was probably good for your clinic. You could help more people that way.

[ He looks a little wistful. ]

I hope I get something...nice, like that, for a breach. Maybe my brain won't be broken, one of these times, for example. Although coming back would probably be worse...

Edited (fixing sentences) 2023-03-24 01:51 (UTC)

It’s… disorienting, if it’s quiet in there, coming back to the… noise. Someone who… means well, but doesn’t know how brains work suggested I should use those sorts of experiences to show my brain what it’s like to be normal.

[ That gets a bitter laugh out of Will. He's had a lot of 'help' that 'means well.' ]

I'll try to be generous and think that they just meant you should try to...repattern your thoughts the same way or something. Like you could do it if you just had a map of the 'correct' way.

[Malcolm smiles wryly.]

I believe that’s what they meant, yeah. Like if I could feel what a normal brain is like on the inside, I would be able to adjust my brain until it feels that way, too. No luck with that so far, but quiet brain breaks: a double edged sword but enjoyable while they last, is my review.

Yeah, I don't know if that sounds a whole lot better. More convenient for the people around you, maybe. Less of a possibility of you looking rough for tabloid photos, but...harder to come out of when you don't have the experience handling these things?

[ Let him know, Malcolm. He's totally guessing, and that's clear in his tone. ]

It's a let-down. And it's rough, the every day stuff that you were used to before it.

[ He makes a bit of a face, not very pleased to hear about that, and then sighs. ]

Yeah, I imagine that would be quite the loss, once it's gone. Did you mourn it properly? Or was it more of an unwanted gift, doomed to be shoved into a drawer and forgotten?

Maybe somewhere in the middle. I missed it, and I tried not to dwell on it, but I don’t want to forget it, either.

Oh, well. That just sounds healthy.

[ He says it with mock-disappointment, but he does smile a bit. ]

At least you're giving me an example to follow.

I try to be a good friend. [He watches Will for a moment.] How have you been coping with the noise since we talked?

[ Will's smile fades a little, thinking about it. He pauses for longer than one might expect. ]

Two things...It hadn't been getting better, before the Breach. But I was starting to feel more 'settled' with it, if that makes any sense. Like the horrors were at least organized, in my head. Blood goes over here, spiders are over there, eyes go on the walls.

[ He looks a little amused with himself, but continues: ] But- ah. It's not bad, now? I'm sure it won't last, but it all feels...faded. It's not as raw.

[ His eyes flutter shut as he actually opens himself up to his visualization, something he almost never does in front of others. ]

It actually feels like someone else's feelings, for once.

Is this the first time it ever has? Or was there a time when it did before it overwhelmed you?

No...not the first time...

[ He takes in a deep breath and opens his eyes again. He nibbles on his own lip for a moment before shaking his head and shrugging. ]

When I'm on a case, the noise fades. It's just replaced with whoever I'm chasing after, for a time. Their fears, their purpose. This is- it's a little different. I think.

So when you're focused on one person so fiercely, their voice takes over your whole mind?

Yes. -well. Most of it. I've managed to set up routines to try and turn it 'on' and 'off', but they don't always work.

[ He looks down at the floor, a move that, by now, Malcolm should be able to recognize as Will trying to hide his discomfort. ]

At least the nightmares I get during those times are more focused.

Do you collect them? Other people's nightmares? Do they stay with you when those people are gone from your life?

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