empathicfault | IC Inbox

I'm fine.

[And she does at least look it, though her working definition of "fine" leans more towards functionality rather than good mental health.]

I wanna hear you talk about what it was like doing that with Malcolm versus what it was like doing it with Hannibal.

[ Yeah, that tells him actually nothing. Sorry, Shaw. But she does seem functional, at least. Will is about to note this when Shaw hits him with the sudden comparison. He gasps out a breath. ]

Uh, I've been trying not to think about Hannibal, for a bit.

Oh, yeah? Why?

[If it's a good answer, she'll even acquiesce!]

Because being fixated on someone else isn't exactly conducive to a new relationship. And I didn't want Malcolm to think I was...comparing them.

[ Oh look, there's the floor! Time to stare at it for a minute. ]

[Aha. Not a good answer, as far as Shaw is concerned; if he happens to glance up, he'll catch her raising an eyebrow.]

How about an answer that has to do with you instead of one that has to do with Malcolm?

[ Yeah, that's about what he figured. ]

I mean, I could try to come up with something. But you asked about my reason, and that was it.

We can talk, about the Enclosure. I just wasn't ready for...that.

I gathered as much.

[A beat.]

I do wanna make it clear before it gets built up into a whole "us against the world"... thing. I don't have any issues with you dating Malcolm. Honestly? I'm relieved. From what I've seen and heard, he's probably a way better boyfriend than he was a therapist for you.

[She drops herself onto a bench, stretching out her legs and folding her arms over her chest.]

But I still want to hear how that compared to what you did with Hannibal.

[ He's a little conflicted, because Will thought he was a better therapist than any of the other ones he'd come across- a low bar, but an important one to cross. Still, her well-wishes and lack of problems with them dating is far more important to him. Ultimately, his mouth pulls back into a line that's not a frown or a smile. ]

Thanks.

Uh...it's hard to compare. I picked that case because Hannibal wasn't on it, in it, anywhere near it. I didn't want to invite any problems- and that's with myself or my emotions, not with what Malcolm would think.

With the case already being solved, nobody's life actually at stake, it was a little different. I was more of a 'guide' than a 'traveler'. It wasn't an equal dynamic. When I was solving cases with Hannibal, we had what I thought was an equal dynamic.

Okay.

[Seems straight-forward enough.]

Did it feel weird, being in the, uh... the "Hannibal position", here?

...maybe if you say it like that.

[ He chuckles, but it's a little nervous. ]

Malcolm was so enthusiastic. It felt more like we'd gone to a particularly good amusement park, rather than something I've spent the past few years trying to avoid. So yeah, it felt...not like I expected, being the guide. I'm not sure there's any part of the scenario we set up that wasn't weird.

Mm. So, you get why that's the kind of thing I wanna talk about and make sure we keep a handle on, right.

[ Will nods, but it's more tired and less controlled than his usual movement. He rubs at his eyes, then moves onto the rest of his face. ]

I talked to Malcolm about that, you know. Before we got together. That I was worried I was going to manipulate him or...well, 'do what Hannibal does'.

So, I've put that out there, at least.

I don't think you're like Hannibal.

[That she wants to make clear, before anything else.]

You don't?

[ That should be relieving. He's not sure how to feel about it. ]

[It's interesting that it's not visibly relieving, which of course means that she's just going to double down on the sentiment.]

Nope. Don't get me wrong, you got plenty of your own bullshit going on, but you're not like him.

[ Will nods. ]

Yeah. Yes, I certainly do.

So- why bring it up? Did I misread your concern?

Because I am worried about you manipulating him, even though I don't think you'd intend to harm him. Saying that without the qualifier that I think you're better than Hannibal would be pretty shitty.

Ah. Okay, I see what you mean, now.

[ He shuts his eyes, briefly. Then he leans back against the railing, facing Shaw on her bench. ]

I don't want to hurt him. I'm...glad you recognize that.

Yeah. But do you get why it's important to keep an eye out for old patterns?

In case I start 'nudging' him in...unfortunate directions? The ways I want him to be, or think he should be? He'd absolutely try to change himself if I approached the idea in a particular way.

[ Or Malcolm might surprise him, but Will is rather focused on his worries at the moment. ]

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