"It was... awful. Terrible for Hanna. Taylor was furious and hurting, of course."

She pauses to consider her words. "But at the same time... for me, this wasn't as bad as some of the times when I was monitoring the unpaired inmates. This was horrible in the moment, but by the next day I was myself again. It didn't eat away at me and leave me exhausted, or at a breaking point. I didn't have to deal with an unpaired inmate killing my inmate, or one unpaired inmate executing a revenge plot against another. I wasn't responsible for every side of a feud, trying to manage everyone's safety and anger at once. That left me so drained that it sent me off the Barge crying to Warren."

There's a slight shake of her head against his shoulder. "It's the reason I moved to the infirmary. I couldn't take it anymore. I was so worn out that I'm not sure whether I would still be on the Barge at all if I'd tried to keep doing that job."