When Will pulls him closer, Malcolm rests his head on Will's shoulder. It's calming him, Will's embrace, his words. It's stopping the sudden fraught realization from turning into a spiral.
He takes a breath.
"When everything blew up with Shaw after Avalon, everyone who came by to see me told me that it was selfish, to be upset about how she handled it, because you're dead and she's the one that can get your life back and I should just... remember that and stop... making a fuss and let her work or I could impede your graduation." Even though he still adamantly denies fussing or stopping her. "And then when we were starting mediation, I guess.... I told Kiryu that you help me with.... some of the interpersonal issues I have with people and.... some of my emotional issues and... the arrested development. And stuff. And he said if I talk to you for help or... whatever when I'm upset about something, and ask you to work on my problems instead of your problems, then I could impede your graduation. By using you. Selfishly." Will probably remembers the conversation where Malcolm asked him if he was using him. Now he knows where it came from. "And I tried for a little bit..." Will probably remembers that, too, the very brief period he had to draw Malcolm into talking about what was bothering him. "But then I talked to you about it and you said they didn't get us, how we work together. How we help each other. And I don't think you're.... behind but if you feel like you're behind and don't know why... I had to check. People said it could be me before." He lifts his head to look at Will. "You really think it's not me?"
Re: After Gaius' Grad Announcement
He takes a breath.
"When everything blew up with Shaw after Avalon, everyone who came by to see me told me that it was selfish, to be upset about how she handled it, because you're dead and she's the one that can get your life back and I should just... remember that and stop... making a fuss and let her work or I could impede your graduation." Even though he still adamantly denies fussing or stopping her. "And then when we were starting mediation, I guess.... I told Kiryu that you help me with.... some of the interpersonal issues I have with people and.... some of my emotional issues and... the arrested development. And stuff. And he said if I talk to you for help or... whatever when I'm upset about something, and ask you to work on my problems instead of your problems, then I could impede your graduation. By using you. Selfishly." Will probably remembers the conversation where Malcolm asked him if he was using him. Now he knows where it came from. "And I tried for a little bit..." Will probably remembers that, too, the very brief period he had to draw Malcolm into talking about what was bothering him. "But then I talked to you about it and you said they didn't get us, how we work together. How we help each other. And I don't think you're.... behind but if you feel like you're behind and don't know why... I had to check. People said it could be me before." He lifts his head to look at Will. "You really think it's not me?"