Will Graham (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
empathicfault) wrote2023-06-18 11:04 am
empathicfault) wrote2023-06-18 11:04 am
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[Open for text/audio/action/whatever.]
[Open for text/audio/action/whatever.]
For a large part of the week, Malcolm is inconsolable. He makes a mosaic with/for Ulla, he teaches Steven to throw axes, he keeps extra hours in the counselling office. He comes home to Will, who he knows has also been keeping busy doing handy things. Real things. Things that really help. Rebuilding.
He does the things he's always done to keep himself from imploding: he does yoga in the morning, he takes his medication, he drinks water, he exercises, he reads his affirmations while his coffee steeps. He works too much. He's almost ashamed when he finally realizes Will hasn't been doing the things that he usually does to keep himself from imploding. Ashamed of how long it's taken him to notice that.
It's Saturday morning. He's still barefoot, in one of Will's shirts with a couple of the buttons done up and his own sweatpants. He hasn't combed his hair yet. He has made coffee. He waits for Will to drift towards the kitchen island.
"Are... are you going to be busy today?" he asks carefully.
He does the things he's always done to keep himself from imploding: he does yoga in the morning, he takes his medication, he drinks water, he exercises, he reads his affirmations while his coffee steeps. He works too much. He's almost ashamed when he finally realizes Will hasn't been doing the things that he usually does to keep himself from imploding. Ashamed of how long it's taken him to notice that.
It's Saturday morning. He's still barefoot, in one of Will's shirts with a couple of the buttons done up and his own sweatpants. He hasn't combed his hair yet. He has made coffee. He waits for Will to drift towards the kitchen island.
"Are... are you going to be busy today?" he asks carefully.
"Hmmm?"
Will scrubs at his face with one hand, looking for all the world like he didn't sleep last night. Or maybe like he needs 12 more hours. He's pulled on sweatpants of his own and was pointed towards the dog bowls, but he stops now to think.
"There's still a couple of walls to build for the shed, so...yeah. Probably." And now he realizes there might be a reason for the question. "Why? There something you want to do?"
He will still drop everything to make sure Malcolm has everything he needs. But it's become more of a passive thing, the past few days. Will's mind is still very much in emergency mode. Honestly, everyone's pretty much still there. The shift out will be slow and painful, he figures.
Will scrubs at his face with one hand, looking for all the world like he didn't sleep last night. Or maybe like he needs 12 more hours. He's pulled on sweatpants of his own and was pointed towards the dog bowls, but he stops now to think.
"There's still a couple of walls to build for the shed, so...yeah. Probably." And now he realizes there might be a reason for the question. "Why? There something you want to do?"
He will still drop everything to make sure Malcolm has everything he needs. But it's become more of a passive thing, the past few days. Will's mind is still very much in emergency mode. Honestly, everyone's pretty much still there. The shift out will be slow and painful, he figures.
"...Yes. But... it's not a big deal." A beat. "Or, actually, it is but...." He takes a breath. "I just. I need you to be present for it and if you're thinking about all the things you feel like you need to be doing instead, then... there's no point in going," he admits.
It's obvious when Will catches on that there's something bigger happening. He winces and frowns at the countertop. After some searching through his mind, his worried eyes look up at Malcolm.
"I can be present. I'll...let people know I won't be in today. Where are we going?"
He won't apologize for missing something, but only because he has to be sure what it is first.
"I can be present. I'll...let people know I won't be in today. Where are we going?"
He won't apologize for missing something, but only because he has to be sure what it is first.
He smiles a little. It’s a relief.
“I want it to be a surprise,” Malcolm tells him. “Is that okay?” Because he’ll tell him if he’s not in a place where surprises aren’t just anxiety-inducing.
It’s just their cabin, but Malcolm has been slipping over there, stocking the fridge with things he knows Will likes and also things he can eat, so Will doesn’t stress about him not eating. Dog food, bird food… the snakes and toad are still fine on the Barge for now. He bought some fire wood for the fireplace. He had the boat fuelled up. He didn’t fill the dressers and closets, because he wants to take Will shopping at some point, but there are pyjamas and underwear and socks and a few changes of comfortable, casual clothes: flannel shirts and khakis, jeans, t-shirts, leisurewear, for each of them, so they don’t need to pack to go there. The bathrooms are stocked with new toothbrushes, mouthwash, dental floss, plush towels hanging on the towel warmer, toilet paper, kleenex, bandaids. The kitchen has dishes, pots and pans, baking sheets, a fruit bowl filled with fresh apples, crisp tea towels, a kettle, a french press, freshly ground coffee, high end loose leaf tea. A plate of pastries from the bakery Will likes, because Malcolm knows he can whisk Will to ten minutes after he set them out there. He’s been working on finishing touches this week and creature comforts. Will needs to be able to disconnect from everyone and just exist for a bit, surrounded by no demanding emotions or needs. Just unconditional love from his dogs and his husband. As long as Malcolm can lead that horse to water, he thinks he’ll realize how thirsty he is and drink.
“I want it to be a surprise,” Malcolm tells him. “Is that okay?” Because he’ll tell him if he’s not in a place where surprises aren’t just anxiety-inducing.
It’s just their cabin, but Malcolm has been slipping over there, stocking the fridge with things he knows Will likes and also things he can eat, so Will doesn’t stress about him not eating. Dog food, bird food… the snakes and toad are still fine on the Barge for now. He bought some fire wood for the fireplace. He had the boat fuelled up. He didn’t fill the dressers and closets, because he wants to take Will shopping at some point, but there are pyjamas and underwear and socks and a few changes of comfortable, casual clothes: flannel shirts and khakis, jeans, t-shirts, leisurewear, for each of them, so they don’t need to pack to go there. The bathrooms are stocked with new toothbrushes, mouthwash, dental floss, plush towels hanging on the towel warmer, toilet paper, kleenex, bandaids. The kitchen has dishes, pots and pans, baking sheets, a fruit bowl filled with fresh apples, crisp tea towels, a kettle, a french press, freshly ground coffee, high end loose leaf tea. A plate of pastries from the bakery Will likes, because Malcolm knows he can whisk Will to ten minutes after he set them out there. He’s been working on finishing touches this week and creature comforts. Will needs to be able to disconnect from everyone and just exist for a bit, surrounded by no demanding emotions or needs. Just unconditional love from his dogs and his husband. As long as Malcolm can lead that horse to water, he thinks he’ll realize how thirsty he is and drink.
"It's okay," Will confirms, after thinking about it for a moment. This sort of questioning does not give the impression of a big high-energy sort of trip. "I'll get ready. After this." He nods towards the ready coffee, because- well, that smells like heaven.
He sends off his communicator messages while he sips, saying he needs the day off and won't be there. Having that done is satisfying in a way he wouldn't have indulged before the Barge. Still, he feels... "Did I miss something? I'm sorry if I've been gone when you need me. I didn't mean to be harder to reach." He doesn't ask if Malcolm's all right. None of them are, right now, but Malcolm's had an especially rough time.
He sends off his communicator messages while he sips, saying he needs the day off and won't be there. Having that done is satisfying in a way he wouldn't have indulged before the Barge. Still, he feels... "Did I miss something? I'm sorry if I've been gone when you need me. I didn't mean to be harder to reach." He doesn't ask if Malcolm's all right. None of them are, right now, but Malcolm's had an especially rough time.
Of course coffee first. He looks almost serene picking up his own cup, having a sip… until the question.
Malcolm clearly wasn’t expecting that. He blinks confusion a couple of times, then answers “You’re always there when I need you. No. Oh! No. It’s nothing like that.” He considers it, then shakes his head. “No. It’s something else.”
Malcolm clearly wasn’t expecting that. He blinks confusion a couple of times, then answers “You’re always there when I need you. No. Oh! No. It’s nothing like that.” He considers it, then shakes his head. “No. It’s something else.”
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