Will Graham (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
empathicfault) wrote2023-06-18 11:04 am
empathicfault) wrote2023-06-18 11:04 am
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[Open for text/audio/action/whatever.]
[Open for text/audio/action/whatever.]
[ He's about to answer 'good,' but stops himself from trying to push it off. ]
More good than bad, I think. But...both. I'm glad I'm not hallucinating, glad I'm not scaring Malcolm. Glad I'm not feeling comfortable in that space Hannibal tends to create around him.
...but I miss it, too. And him.
[ He huffs out an audible sigh. ]
It was good to hear his voice again.
More good than bad, I think. But...both. I'm glad I'm not hallucinating, glad I'm not scaring Malcolm. Glad I'm not feeling comfortable in that space Hannibal tends to create around him.
...but I miss it, too. And him.
[ He huffs out an audible sigh. ]
It was good to hear his voice again.
I'm glad you're not feeling comfortable there, too.
So I'm talking to Rawne about Avalon. He's, uh-- sounding pretty suggestible about what he's gonna do with them, long-term. You know me; my head tends to go to prevention of future stuff over punishment of past stuff. So I was wondering if you wanted to help brainstorm some constructive punishment ideas with us. Help me fill in the gaps there.
So I'm talking to Rawne about Avalon. He's, uh-- sounding pretty suggestible about what he's gonna do with them, long-term. You know me; my head tends to go to prevention of future stuff over punishment of past stuff. So I was wondering if you wanted to help brainstorm some constructive punishment ideas with us. Help me fill in the gaps there.
I'm all right. Got a couple of things to work through now, but it could've been much worse.
Are you okay? You had your worst-case scenario playing out for you, or close to it.
Are you okay? You had your worst-case scenario playing out for you, or close to it.
[ It's a swing in topic, but not an unwelcome one. As much as Will likes to talk about Hannibal, he's had his fill this past week. ]
...oh. Sure. I'm glad he's amenable.
I'm not sure what would even work as a punishment, though. I'd say something like have them feel whatever pain they're trying to inflict, but they don't seem to care about their body. And forcing them to feel the despair they're attempting to inflict on others seems...like it might be less than constructive.
You know, I tried to talk to Avalon about why they picked what they did as their purpose-- it honestly seemed like it was the first thing they did when they connected with someone, and they never did anything else. I'm not sure what could be done to try and...kickstart them connecting to people in another way, but that's probably what's going to be useful.
...oh. Sure. I'm glad he's amenable.
I'm not sure what would even work as a punishment, though. I'd say something like have them feel whatever pain they're trying to inflict, but they don't seem to care about their body. And forcing them to feel the despair they're attempting to inflict on others seems...like it might be less than constructive.
You know, I tried to talk to Avalon about why they picked what they did as their purpose-- it honestly seemed like it was the first thing they did when they connected with someone, and they never did anything else. I'm not sure what could be done to try and...kickstart them connecting to people in another way, but that's probably what's going to be useful.
I'm- yeah I'm not doing great. It'll be okay though. Not the actual end of the world, this time.
Things'll be okay. If it helps any, I'm just fine. No trauma, healed up immediately.
[ He's not sure if that's what Jesus needs to hear right now, but it probably couldn't hurt. ]
[ He's not sure if that's what Jesus needs to hear right now, but it probably couldn't hurt. ]
Really? Not even an emotional dent after I stabbed you in the head?
[ Will laughs- it's a surprised little chuckle. He switches to video and pushes back the hair on his head, showing off a 4-5 inch horizontal scar across the right side of his head. ]
It's not the first time. And you weren't planning to feed my brain to my former boss.
You were trying to be efficient and- I think- merciful. So that's already one up on life-threatening experiences.
It's not the first time. And you weren't planning to feed my brain to my former boss.
You were trying to be efficient and- I think- merciful. So that's already one up on life-threatening experiences.
[He was. He was trying to save the ship but there is also, always, the knowledge that no one would want to be a walker. You put your loved ones and your friends and your neighbors and everyone you ever knew down yourself and you make yourself be glad that it was your knife or your bullet or your own damn boot that did it.]
All right, I'll stop feeling guilty about it. If you let me bring you an apology basket of cookies or something.
All right, I'll stop feeling guilty about it. If you let me bring you an apology basket of cookies or something.
Edited 2023-10-23 23:34 (UTC)
Malcolm crawls into bed next to Will that night and curls up against him. Things have been slowly untangling in the couple of days since the sword was dealt with but the things that happened right before the sword thing have dominated his mental space a lot more than the things that happened during it.
Except maybe one.
"I called Shaw today," he admits to the outline of Will's face in the diffused light of simulated streetlamps below the window. "To apologize for being mean when I was telling her off."
Except maybe one.
"I called Shaw today," he admits to the outline of Will's face in the diffused light of simulated streetlamps below the window. "To apologize for being mean when I was telling her off."
Will has been doing what he personally can to keep himself distracted, because otherwise he would've broached that one thing Malcolm's been thinking about. And he knows he needs to give it time to settle. It's still difficult not to apologize or try to explain certain things.
It's easier when Malcolm is here with him, though. When they're close and warm together. Will can see Malcolm's face clearly, but he barely needs that to tell what's going on with him, now. "How did that go?" he asks, because he suspects it wasn't all that well.
It's easier when Malcolm is here with him, though. When they're close and warm together. Will can see Malcolm's face clearly, but he barely needs that to tell what's going on with him, now. "How did that go?" he asks, because he suspects it wasn't all that well.
She thinks I'm encouraging you to kill people and that totally justifies her telling I don't even know how many people that I'm dangerously unstable and needed intervention the day after the Avalon thing. People calling up and coming over telling me to let her do the Wardening when all I did was stay away from both of you and it was already hard without... that. ...She at least said if we were going to talk about it, you had to be there. Are you okay with meeting up with her after breakfast?
[ Will smiles and somewhat sleepily brushes some hair back away from Malcolm's face. ]
At least she's agreeing now. Yes, we can do that. Maybe we'll manage to get a thing or two straightened out. If we're lucky.
At least she's agreeing now. Yes, we can do that. Maybe we'll manage to get a thing or two straightened out. If we're lucky.
[ Will looks pleased. It's hard for people to not feel guilty over the things that happen here, but at least they can know intellectually a lot isn't their fault. ]
I might be a lot of things, but I'm definitely not someone who turns down cookies when they're offered. Thank you.
You getting a baking habit from Maggie or something? I've been seeing a lot more of that going around.
[ He's not complaining, that's for sure. ]
I might be a lot of things, but I'm definitely not someone who turns down cookies when they're offered. Thank you.
You getting a baking habit from Maggie or something? I've been seeing a lot more of that going around.
[ He's not complaining, that's for sure. ]
"Thank you," Malcolm tells him with gratitude and relief. "How are you doing? A lot happened in like a week."
I did ask them why they didn't try to help people instead and I never really did get an answer from them about it. I don't know, I'm just trying to come up with incentives for Avalon to help out, and...there's not much.
Maybe they could try a work program, like Kikimora's doing? I worry that'd give them more targets, but- maybe not. They've been here for months and stayed focused on me.
Maybe they could try a work program, like Kikimora's doing? I worry that'd give them more targets, but- maybe not. They've been here for months and stayed focused on me.
Taylor’s already had a full day when she shows up to the kennel, Angelica ambling at her side and a canvas bag hanging over her shoulder. She has cleaning plans - deep cleaning the play space and the fake grass, and maybe the goat pens too - but she’s also already spent half the day cleaning and she’s tired. So she plans to let herself be lazy.
She was hoping to be here late enough she’d be alone, since she’s not sure what’s on display above her head, but she smiles to see Will all the same, and hefts the bag a little. It rattles dryly.
“What are your thoughts on beetles?”
She was hoping to be here late enough she’d be alone, since she’s not sure what’s on display above her head, but she smiles to see Will all the same, and hefts the bag a little. It rattles dryly.
“What are your thoughts on beetles?”
"Of course," Will breathes out in response to Malcolm's thanks. He'd wanted to do this for them ages ago.
The question is harder to respond to. Malcolm can hear him taking in a big breath, as he thinks it over. "I think I'm still in shock, somewhat. I haven't started really analyzing what all of it meant. I almost wouldn't be surprised if we got hit by the next breach tomorrow."
It's easy to get back into that mode. "You? You...did better with the curse, or- at least, it seemed like you did. Are you all right?"
The question is harder to respond to. Malcolm can hear him taking in a big breath, as he thinks it over. "I think I'm still in shock, somewhat. I haven't started really analyzing what all of it meant. I almost wouldn't be surprised if we got hit by the next breach tomorrow."
It's easy to get back into that mode. "You? You...did better with the curse, or- at least, it seemed like you did. Are you all right?"
Malcolm’s fingers fidget with the seam of Will’s undershirt at his shoulder and then with an errant curl below his ear.
“I’m… glad we had instant healing. But I’m not… really upset with that stuff. It wasn’t personal like the stuff right before it with Shaw and her agents. Or. …Most of it wasn’t. I just…” His vision better adjusted now, he looks for Will’s eyes in the dark. “Do you think you’d be happier now, if he was here instead of me?” The question is curious, not tense, though his fingers continue their anxious dance.
“I’m… glad we had instant healing. But I’m not… really upset with that stuff. It wasn’t personal like the stuff right before it with Shaw and her agents. Or. …Most of it wasn’t. I just…” His vision better adjusted now, he looks for Will’s eyes in the dark. “Do you think you’d be happier now, if he was here instead of me?” The question is curious, not tense, though his fingers continue their anxious dance.
...ah, there it is. Will doesn't have to wait any longer at all, as it turns out. Will's fingers settle on one of Malcolm's shoulders, as Malcolm's continue moving. He's decided he's not going to lie about anything- not even going to sugarcoat it (if he can help himself).
"I'd be happy," he admits, quietly. "But I wouldn't be happier. I never- never feel safe around Hannibal. It's not always an issue, for me, but...it's important, having someone I actually trust, who I don't have to...decode, every time I talk to them. Even with me, Hannibal rarely says what he means."
Will shifts up so he's on his elbow. It changes the lighting a little, so the bottom half of his face and his eyes can more easily be seen. He's watching Malcolm, worried but earnest. "Did it scare you? The way I acted? That was...how I tended to be, around him. I don't hide the dark around you, but I might...cordon it off, some. Take some unearned distance from it."
"I'd be happy," he admits, quietly. "But I wouldn't be happier. I never- never feel safe around Hannibal. It's not always an issue, for me, but...it's important, having someone I actually trust, who I don't have to...decode, every time I talk to them. Even with me, Hannibal rarely says what he means."
Will shifts up so he's on his elbow. It changes the lighting a little, so the bottom half of his face and his eyes can more easily be seen. He's watching Malcolm, worried but earnest. "Did it scare you? The way I acted? That was...how I tended to be, around him. I don't hide the dark around you, but I might...cordon it off, some. Take some unearned distance from it."
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