Will Graham (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
empathicfault) wrote2023-06-18 11:04 am
empathicfault) wrote2023-06-18 11:04 am
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[Open for text/audio/action/whatever.]
[Open for text/audio/action/whatever.]
[ Will nods. ] I'll talk to her. Wanted to talk to you and Malcolm first.
I figured I should notify you, no matter what. But I do want your opinion.
I figured I should notify you, no matter what. But I do want your opinion.
[Shaw pauses to pull her thoughts together, leaning back on her elbows. Bear sighs heavily, dropping his head into her lap, and she immediately changes tack and sits up again so that she can rub his ears.]
It weirds me out. It makes me nervous. Humans I'm familiar with and can deal with, but werewolves? No way, totally insane.
But it sounds like it could be really good for you, and you're interested in it for the right reasons.
It weirds me out. It makes me nervous. Humans I'm familiar with and can deal with, but werewolves? No way, totally insane.
But it sounds like it could be really good for you, and you're interested in it for the right reasons.
[ Will looks away for a bit as Shaw thinks things over. He is a little nervous as to how Shaw was going to take this. It might not be entirely out of left field, but it's still not exactly the conversation people expect to have in a normal day.
That she's positive at all has him breathing a sigh of relief. Even if he sounds a little confused. ]
You think those are the right reasons? I wasn't sure...uh, whether leaning into the 'wild' tendencies would be a bad sign or not. If I should be trying to curb that instinct.
That she's positive at all has him breathing a sigh of relief. Even if he sounds a little confused. ]
You think those are the right reasons? I wasn't sure...uh, whether leaning into the 'wild' tendencies would be a bad sign or not. If I should be trying to curb that instinct.
[ Oh, good. Will hadn't been looking forward to maybe trying to curb his tendency towards violence, but he'd been worried that was a key to graduating. If Shaw doesn't think so, that's good enough for him. He doesn't know what a 'healthy way' would actually be, but he can rationalize the change fairly easily.
He smiles a little when she focuses on the pack. ]
No, I really haven't. And I know you've extended an invite from your team. But these people feel right and it might give me some help here. Trusting people...it's been easier here, but-
[ He shrugs. It's still very difficult, when it's not the couple of people he's clung onto. ]
He smiles a little when she focuses on the pack. ]
No, I really haven't. And I know you've extended an invite from your team. But these people feel right and it might give me some help here. Trusting people...it's been easier here, but-
[ He shrugs. It's still very difficult, when it's not the couple of people he's clung onto. ]
Well enough to know I've barely touched the surface of her long lived experience.
[ That's said with a wry smile, that turns warmer as he looks down at his hands. ]
I wish my mind worked like her telepathy does. With everything being a back-and-forth, a sharing rather than an involuntary taking of knowledge. I've spent a few afternoons chatting without speech with her, or tugging her along the museum in my mind. Even the heavier, darker parts of her are a delight.
[ That's said with a wry smile, that turns warmer as he looks down at his hands. ]
I wish my mind worked like her telepathy does. With everything being a back-and-forth, a sharing rather than an involuntary taking of knowledge. I've spent a few afternoons chatting without speech with her, or tugging her along the museum in my mind. Even the heavier, darker parts of her are a delight.
Edited 2023-09-07 01:31 (UTC)
Mmmm.
[It's a sound not quite of agreement, but also not of disagreement; she understands and isn't surprised by the assessment, in any case. It's also the nicest thing she's ever said out loud about Iris, paltry as it is.]
She drives me crazy.
[She's the most Root-like person on the ship, by far.]
But I think she could be really good for you.
[It's a sound not quite of agreement, but also not of disagreement; she understands and isn't surprised by the assessment, in any case. It's also the nicest thing she's ever said out loud about Iris, paltry as it is.]
She drives me crazy.
[She's the most Root-like person on the ship, by far.]
But I think she could be really good for you.
[From here.]
Malcolm bursts into Will’s cabin and goes straight to the couch and flops on his back there like a petulant teenager.
“Shaw doesn’t want to be friends anymore because she can’t fix me.”
Malcolm bursts into Will’s cabin and goes straight to the couch and flops on his back there like a petulant teenager.
“Shaw doesn’t want to be friends anymore because she can’t fix me.”
Will is currently tucked into his armchair with Winston on his lap. He looks up from his book (Theories of Transmutation and Chemical Alterations) and blinks. He stares at Malcolm for a long moment, seemingly reaching back into something in his mind, then sets the book down on a nearby table.
"Did she say those words?" he asks, tone neutral other than a vague curiosity.
"Did she say those words?" he asks, tone neutral other than a vague curiosity.
Malcolm considers it. The words were in there, but not just like that. Then he blows out a breath.
"I don't even know anymore." He pulls out his phone and unlocks it and opens the conversation, tossing it over to Will without getting up, but careful not to hit the dog. Then he drapes his arm across his eyes. "I hate putting you in the middle, but... help."
"I don't even know anymore." He pulls out his phone and unlocks it and opens the conversation, tossing it over to Will without getting up, but careful not to hit the dog. Then he drapes his arm across his eyes. "I hate putting you in the middle, but... help."
Will catches the phone and looks at it, then scrolls up...and up...and finally just starts with the first audio part of the conversation. He plays it on speaker, since it might not hurt to have Malcolm re-listen to what was said. His eyebrows raise as they start talking about sexual subjects, then furrow as they continue back and forth and Shaw starts sounding exactly the same as she does in her talks with Will.
By the time they start talking in circles, his eyes are wide again and he's running his tongue over his teeth. Malcolm hones in on one point, Shaw avoids it, and Malcolm wrestles with it like a dog with a bone. They get deeper into their own experiences- Will winces slightly at the mention of Neal- but somehow keep slipping past each other. Will looks a little shell-shocked by the end of it.
He groans a bit, setting the phone down carefully on top of his book, and notes the obvious. "That was rough."
By the time they start talking in circles, his eyes are wide again and he's running his tongue over his teeth. Malcolm hones in on one point, Shaw avoids it, and Malcolm wrestles with it like a dog with a bone. They get deeper into their own experiences- Will winces slightly at the mention of Neal- but somehow keep slipping past each other. Will looks a little shell-shocked by the end of it.
He groans a bit, setting the phone down carefully on top of his book, and notes the obvious. "That was rough."
Edited 2023-09-08 16:26 (UTC)
Malcolm sits up.
"Okay. I have a question. Were we talking about me and her or me and everybody. Because it just... zigged and zagged. Like. Like... I told her that she could just... accept that the words I'm using are what I'm saying and she says the world doesn't work like that and I have to improve so I don't piss off all these people but then they're hypothetical people and I have to do it for her, but if it's me and her, then why can't we meet in the middle? It just felt like I never knew what we were actually talking about. But it kind of started that way, because I thought we were joking around, you know? Some good-natured ribbing. But then I thought she wanted to talk and I just thought... well, that should have been a clue, right?"
He flops back down.
"Do you think it's better if she doesn't want to talk to me anymore? I didn't want a lifecoach; I wanted to be friends."
"Okay. I have a question. Were we talking about me and her or me and everybody. Because it just... zigged and zagged. Like. Like... I told her that she could just... accept that the words I'm using are what I'm saying and she says the world doesn't work like that and I have to improve so I don't piss off all these people but then they're hypothetical people and I have to do it for her, but if it's me and her, then why can't we meet in the middle? It just felt like I never knew what we were actually talking about. But it kind of started that way, because I thought we were joking around, you know? Some good-natured ribbing. But then I thought she wanted to talk and I just thought... well, that should have been a clue, right?"
He flops back down.
"Do you think it's better if she doesn't want to talk to me anymore? I didn't want a lifecoach; I wanted to be friends."
Will listens, licking his lips. He sighs slightly, thoughtful, before he tries to answer.
"So I'm...actually not sure if she was trying to talk about you and her or you and everyone, either. She clearly thought you were trying to divert the discussion when you first brought it up. I didn't expect her to be lecturing you so much, either, but I don't have context for your previous conversations. Did you ask her for advice in the past? Either on trying to be friends with her or trying to get along better with other people?"
He'll get to the last question, but he wants to clear this up first.
"So I'm...actually not sure if she was trying to talk about you and her or you and everyone, either. She clearly thought you were trying to divert the discussion when you first brought it up. I didn't expect her to be lecturing you so much, either, but I don't have context for your previous conversations. Did you ask her for advice in the past? Either on trying to be friends with her or trying to get along better with other people?"
He'll get to the last question, but he wants to clear this up first.
"I don't... think so? But then when I say things, I don't really know what she gets from it until she tells me. But remember that time I came over because she told me she wanted to Try? This conversation had different topics but it was exactly the same feel, where she was like... we have to learn to understand each other so listen to me tell you why you fail at life."
He sighs.
"She reminds me of someone back home. A cop I worked with. We kind of... almost seemed like we might... have a thing? Sometimes. And I think I recognized something similar in Shaw when she arrived, and I thought.... Well. That's why I kind of thought that maybe we could be... something. Eventually. If I just gave her time to get used to me. But. I'm not even interested in anything that complicated now - just being friends - and I'm thinking... she isn't ever going to like me." He shifts to tilt his head half off the couch so he can look at Will. "She isn't, is she?"
He sighs.
"She reminds me of someone back home. A cop I worked with. We kind of... almost seemed like we might... have a thing? Sometimes. And I think I recognized something similar in Shaw when she arrived, and I thought.... Well. That's why I kind of thought that maybe we could be... something. Eventually. If I just gave her time to get used to me. But. I'm not even interested in anything that complicated now - just being friends - and I'm thinking... she isn't ever going to like me." He shifts to tilt his head half off the couch so he can look at Will. "She isn't, is she?"
[ Will smiles when told Iris drives Shaw crazy. It's rather fond. ]
I think she could be, too, yeah. I'm still sort of...blown away by how much positive emotional energy she puts out. And I should stop wondering where she gets all the time to do everything already.
I can't really tell- do you like her or find her obnoxious? Or both?
I think she could be, too, yeah. I'm still sort of...blown away by how much positive emotional energy she puts out. And I should stop wondering where she gets all the time to do everything already.
I can't really tell- do you like her or find her obnoxious? Or both?
Will frowns thoughtfully- it only deepens when he hears that Shaw's attempt to Try was much the same. Malcolm continues on, telling him about one of the cops he worked with that...maybe dating happened? And that clears up another mystery, but doesn't help much with this one.
Will looks up at Malcolm, meeting his gaze. "Honestly, Malcolm...I don't know. Shaw's harder for me to read than most people. And I can give you a little advice here, but-" He shifts in his chair, sitting up further without disturbing Winston too much. "Listen. What you need to ask yourself is if she- if all of this-" He gestures towards the phone. "-is worth the trouble for you."
He lets that settle for just a moment before continuing. "Things with her blow up almost every time you talk. It sounds like she's lecturing you and giving you unwanted advice. You both sounded like you were talking at each other rather than to each other, or like you were speaking a different language. I could tell you were both trying hard, and maybe you'll eventually break through. But if it's going to...hurt you regularly in the process, it's not worth it."
Will looks up at Malcolm, meeting his gaze. "Honestly, Malcolm...I don't know. Shaw's harder for me to read than most people. And I can give you a little advice here, but-" He shifts in his chair, sitting up further without disturbing Winston too much. "Listen. What you need to ask yourself is if she- if all of this-" He gestures towards the phone. "-is worth the trouble for you."
He lets that settle for just a moment before continuing. "Things with her blow up almost every time you talk. It sounds like she's lecturing you and giving you unwanted advice. You both sounded like you were talking at each other rather than to each other, or like you were speaking a different language. I could tell you were both trying hard, and maybe you'll eventually break through. But if it's going to...hurt you regularly in the process, it's not worth it."
Malcolm sits up again.
"I don't want to have that conversation every time!" he explains, gesturing at the phone. "But it's like we can't talk about anything else until I fix myself and... I don't know. I tend to assume I'm the problem, but... there are people here who like me the way I am. Why do I have to... why do I have to be different? I'm not saying I'm perfect or even rejecting the idea of working on some things, but I can question it, right? Is there a compelling reason to be different? Well, one reason is to appease her, but I don't even know if that's possible, no matter what I do. So. I don't know if it is, actually. Worth it. Except she's your Warden and if she hates me she can make things kind of difficult for us and.... you're worth.... anything," Malcolm concludes.
"I don't want to have that conversation every time!" he explains, gesturing at the phone. "But it's like we can't talk about anything else until I fix myself and... I don't know. I tend to assume I'm the problem, but... there are people here who like me the way I am. Why do I have to... why do I have to be different? I'm not saying I'm perfect or even rejecting the idea of working on some things, but I can question it, right? Is there a compelling reason to be different? Well, one reason is to appease her, but I don't even know if that's possible, no matter what I do. So. I don't know if it is, actually. Worth it. Except she's your Warden and if she hates me she can make things kind of difficult for us and.... you're worth.... anything," Malcolm concludes.
[ Oh, he didn't expect uncomfortableness. He raises an eyebrow. ]
Can I ask why? I mean, there's a lot that's complicated about Iris...
Can I ask why? I mean, there's a lot that's complicated about Iris...
Something in Will relaxes when Malcolm seems to agree. He'd been worried at how willing Malcolm was to contort himself into all sorts of shapes to appease people. The last part surprises him a little, because it's not really something he'd considered as a problem.
His brow furrows as he speaks. "If she makes things difficult for us, I'll make it difficult for her right back."
He looks back up at Malcolm, giving him a too-wide smile. "And I can be very difficult to work with. So seriously, don't worry about me. You don't have to be friends to be coworkers. And I think you're still feeling out how you want to be you before complicating it with how other people want you to be." It hadn't been that long since he got out of masking to try and fit in at the FBI, after all.
His brow furrows as he speaks. "If she makes things difficult for us, I'll make it difficult for her right back."
He looks back up at Malcolm, giving him a too-wide smile. "And I can be very difficult to work with. So seriously, don't worry about me. You don't have to be friends to be coworkers. And I think you're still feeling out how you want to be you before complicating it with how other people want you to be." It hadn't been that long since he got out of masking to try and fit in at the FBI, after all.
"Ah." That explains everything. Will rubs at one of his eyes. "I can only imagine. And now it's not the same kind of 'suck,' but I'm sure it still feels strange."
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