empathicfault | IC Inbox

Well, it’s her responsibility to make sure I don’t break you. [He’s joking, but then he looks almost coy.] i actually really wanted to kiss you in the crime lab, but it didn’t seem appropriate. Not because it was a crime lab; that was the best gift. It was just… all the audience.

Simulations make me tired. Even if it's just the idea of them.

[And the jury's still out on if that's what's going on here. Closing her eyes, she drapes her arm around the nearest dog, letting her fingers sink into fur.]

Thanks.

[Hi, Will! Here comes your warden, using her item to track you down while you're out on deck.]

Hey. Let's do a debrief on your crime scene thing. How'd it go? Resounding success?

[She'd been there for the whole thing, of course, but like hell she has any idea what a resounding success for a fake crime scene investigation looks like.]

Will has no doubt sensed the disquiet in Malcolm since Neal’s return and the way he iced them out in art class. He thought he could handle it, though. He thought he had the tools to get through to his inmate if he kept at it, so he didn’t talk about their work. But he doesn’t have the tools.

When Malcolm knocks at Will’s door, it’s late. Later than usual. He’d been in the library finding a good resource and left it for Neal and walked around thinking about what happened, how it all went so badly wrong, how it crashed and burned all over him.

Before Will even gets to the door, he shouts “Will? It’s Malcolm! Can I come in?”

Will can probably sense more than disquiet now, without even opening the door.

Instead of sleeping, Will had been messing with another lure. He could feel the tension that Malcolm was dealing with. And he had his own concerns as well, now that things have been so good for far too long. It doesn't bode well for his own sleep.

He doesn't jump when the door knocks and the dogs both spring up, but it's a close thing. He's gotten good at staying his reactions if there's something sharp in his hands. He sets the lure down and gets up...and Malcolm shouts. Wills' response is to rush a little faster to the door.

As soon as he opens it, he's looking over Malcolm with worried eyes. Winston and Jet 'mob' him, Jet trying to lick Malcolm's fingers. "What do you need?" Will asks, plainly.

[ Will is a little quicker to smile lately, even around Shaw. He gives her a brief one, then looks thoughtful. ]

Resounding success, yes. At least as far as I'm concerned. Malcolm had a good time, other people didn't seem to mind, and you seem like you're doing all right. I think.

[ She is always a little harder to read than most, and he knows he's biased in favor of the whole thing. ]

You have any thoughts on it?

I'm fine.

[And she does at least look it, though her working definition of "fine" leans more towards functionality rather than good mental health.]

I wanna hear you talk about what it was like doing that with Malcolm versus what it was like doing it with Hannibal.

“I don’t know,” Malcolm says, drawing a shaky breath. “I think I ruined everything,” he whispers.

Will steps forward to put an arm around Malcolm's shoulders and lean his head against Malcolm's. "Come in, okay? What happened?" His voice is quiet and already wracked with the weight of Malcolm's pain. He'll gently tug Malcolm into his cabin and- if allowed- onto the couch.

[ Yeah, that tells him actually nothing. Sorry, Shaw. But she does seem functional, at least. Will is about to note this when Shaw hits him with the sudden comparison. He gasps out a breath. ]

Uh, I've been trying not to think about Hannibal, for a bit.

Oh, yeah? Why?

[If it's a good answer, she'll even acquiesce!]

Like he’s in a daze, he’ll go where he’s led. He still feels fur nudge at his fingertips while they walk there. He gives it a little scritch.

“I confronted Neal after art class. He’d been avoiding our counseling sessions and then he ignored us in art class and I just didn’t know what to do with his… pissy, snotty attitude. He wouldn’t talk to me, just kept pushing. I thought maybe I could get his attention if I pushed back. He does this thing… he… puts on a pleasant expression like a mask but… you know when you can, like, see the twisted angry face underneath it? Like. You… you can see the ugly, angry true emotion under the pretend nice face? And when we were arguing it just… slipped out. I told him he didn’t used to be ugly inside. And I didn’t mean… Well, it’s not like I could even begin to explain what that was about when he didn’t want to hear it to start with and most people don’t experience things that way. He really latched onto it, though. And it went way, way downhill from there and he hates me. Like, he really does actually hate me. He said it twice.”

Because being fixated on someone else isn't exactly conducive to a new relationship. And I didn't want Malcolm to think I was...comparing them.

[ Oh look, there's the floor! Time to stare at it for a minute. ]

[Aha. Not a good answer, as far as Shaw is concerned; if he happens to glance up, he'll catch her raising an eyebrow.]

How about an answer that has to do with you instead of one that has to do with Malcolm?

That's a lot, and Will keeps his hand on Malcolm's back through the whole explanation. Will's also working with so much bias and such a small sketch of Neal (admittedly, he'd tried to keep it that way), he's not sure he can actually help with this.

"That's...never easy to hear. I'm sorry," Will says, kissing Malcolm's temple gently. He tugs on the blanket already on the back of the couch and expertly puts it around Malcolm's shoulders before hugging him close again. "And sometimes it turns out to be true and sometimes it's not. Things might not be fully broken with him, yet."

Malcolm leans into him, breathing in that affection like air.

"He made some points that other people have made about me. Things I've struggled with myself. I think... I think I'm going to quit the counseling office. I'm not cut out for it. It's not what I do. Caring isn't enough to turn what I do into that. I'm not helping."

[ Yeah, that's about what he figured. ]

I mean, I could try to come up with something. But you asked about my reason, and that was it.

We can talk, about the Enclosure. I just wasn't ready for...that.

I gathered as much.

[A beat.]

I do wanna make it clear before it gets built up into a whole "us against the world"... thing. I don't have any issues with you dating Malcolm. Honestly? I'm relieved. From what I've seen and heard, he's probably a way better boyfriend than he was a therapist for you.

[She drops herself onto a bench, stretching out her legs and folding her arms over her chest.]

But I still want to hear how that compared to what you did with Hannibal.

Will frowns, due to a couple of things about that. "Can you take a break? A few weeks off? I know it's not exactly conventional, but you need some mental health time, too. I don't-" He fidget slightly, not sure how to put this. "I don't know what Neal said, but- what you do is cut through to what people don't want to hear. And that's helpful, for those of us that normal therapy doesn't reach. At that point, it's what we need to hear. So, I can't think that you're not helping anyone."

[ He's a little conflicted, because Will thought he was a better therapist than any of the other ones he'd come across- a low bar, but an important one to cross. Still, her well-wishes and lack of problems with them dating is far more important to him. Ultimately, his mouth pulls back into a line that's not a frown or a smile. ]

Thanks.

Uh...it's hard to compare. I picked that case because Hannibal wasn't on it, in it, anywhere near it. I didn't want to invite any problems- and that's with myself or my emotions, not with what Malcolm would think.

With the case already being solved, nobody's life actually at stake, it was a little different. I was more of a 'guide' than a 'traveler'. It wasn't an equal dynamic. When I was solving cases with Hannibal, we had what I thought was an equal dynamic.

I know.

[ His smile indicates he felt completely the same way. ]

And I think she's trying to make sure I don't break you, too. I can't blame her for being cautious, when we're dancing around the topic of things I might be sensitive to.

No problem.

[ Will gets himself comfortable, leaning against the wall on the floor. And he'll let himself drift, too- not enough to really be out of it, but enough to go fishing a bit. He doesn't know if his presence will help when she's up again, but he doesn't think it'd hurt. Besides, he can do this for hours.

So he'll be in much the same position when she wakes up, most likely. ]

Okay.

[Seems straight-forward enough.]

Did it feel weird, being in the, uh... the "Hannibal position", here?

[Shaw doesn't sleep deeply: it's not that kind of tiredness. Her body doesn't need rest, but her mind needs to escape for a while; needs to leave the Barge and go somewhere else, if only in her imagination. Still, there's a part of her that's always aware of where she really is, and what's going on around her - and that part of her knows that for the hours that she drifts, Will stays put. She doesn't even hear his communicator being pulled out.]

What do you do?

[She croaks out, speaking for the first time in three hours.]

Malcolm gives him a weak smile. He was the one who suggested Malcolm really helped him. But he’s a profiler too.

“Your warden fired me from you,” he points out with a self effacing laugh. “…Not that I’m complaining, because being with you is way better but. It did cut at the time.”

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After Neal’s return, the art class and his first two counselling sessions.

Re: After Neal’s return, the art class and his first two counselling sessions.

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